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Tuesday, August 17

I have borderline people in my head, back at home.

 People who know me, of my recent mockup self, know that I toe a contentious line about my narcissism, being that there are a couple, or so, variants of narcissism, and even at that, given "whatever," about this guy, or that, and we're all sufferers of the same ailment, to some degree; yet each of us would prefer our own brand, of things, when it comes to who's personality traits, and ideations, etc. end up being the more fruitful and attractive persona in society. 

The textbook Narcissism spectrum is a 5-step set of distinctions in depravity, or misfortune, as it were, pinioned about the topic spectre of Narcissism (to reiterate) at issue. It begins with ...

Well, I don't remember. But there's grandiosity, delusions of grandeur, borderline personality disorder, as the middle trait, then psychopathy, and lastly, paranoid schizophrenia, as the final trait that defined the narcissist, and their inevitable outcome, with the psychiatric industry. 

No? This is a poor topic, for some, or, in some regards. Yet, I constantly deal and cope with a reality of having to accommodate people who destroy any semblance of a proper relationship that had been established, whereas those moments seem to have lost importance, for the person. People had been working overtime, and at all hours, trying to offer in a therapeutic approach, to no avail. Heartbreaking attitudes, sadistic fantasies, and many various sorts of care to abuse people, from a networked and arbitrarily tangential outlook and outset, from the core identity of a single victim; finding casualties in innocent bystanders, friends, relatives, etc. 



That's all I'll say; just my input, as to acknowledge that it's still going on, on this day. 

Monday, August 16

The iPigeon.institute online store (preview launch).

 I'm launching a private preview to my new online store, which will be offering essential oil and fragrance absolute personal misting bottle aromatherapy and personal care products, such as natural soaps, and other toiletry products, to come, in the near future. 

Here is the temporary (private) link to preview the online launch of my e-commerce store:



The store aims to provide direct-to-consumer deals on personal and home aesthetics and care products, with iPigeon.institute-unique flair and artisan | boutique exclusivity. Consumers benefit from my constant efforts in sourcing quality ingredients and from my dedications to research and online publishing, in which I discover online resources which have led me to be able to provide affordable luxury products, with all-natural ingredients, of high quality and purity, hand-made with care and with attention to the utmost standards in manufacturing.

Tuesday, August 3

A review, for inclusiveness, here - The Rigorous Honesty of the 12 Steps.

As I consider this article's context, I'm fraught with a significant backdrop of an allegorical account of life's experiences, at my [forget <_<, rather] foray. One of my teen years' best friends had grown distant from me, over the years, and his attitudes in communicating sorrow over this loss are inelegant and cruel. I'd come to see him as this new person, made up of cruelty, rather than that I could see him as a friend. It's "all in my head," as the old saying goes. 

On one hand, I don't like doing old things. A timeless thing, on the other hand, is a different story and distinction. People, lately, simply forget what's really being spoken about, and people have been fumbling about, failing at simply acknowledging the present moment, in life. Little obsessions over the small details of former failures is an unfortunate circumstance, to be sure, although we all have moments like that, in life - hopefully only formerly so, though. In therapy, we release these sorts of frustrations and anxieties through speaking candidly with a trusted individual, who is bound to professional ethics not to reveal the details of the conversations that transpire between they, themselves, and the client. Even so, various types of people will simply fail to trust the therapist, having been a victim of abused trust in life which had never been nurtured back to health. I'm by no means very well traveled in sociable acquisitions of a vast number of strangers that I've befriended, so I couldn't quite say, at what point, in life, people's trust in others had been violated. For me, it was quite early on. I was physically abused, by my father, for things that I had about myself, that I didn't quite understand, or I didn't have the thought about myself, in life, such as to avoid the consequence of being abused. On one hand, who ever does know the appropriate course of actions to take, such as to avert an abusive and hurtful consequence for ourselves? For me, it's a significantly adult thing; I'm 39 now, and it was well in to my mid-30's, or so, as to when I had "Scientology cleared" my mind of all shortcomings and admissions necessary, in life, for having become a spiritually competent individual in life, who could answer for things that would have otherwise separated me from others, earlier on, in life, and which had prevented me from being accepted, or included, in people's lives and common affections, absent from barriers to achieving that manner of relationship. 
 

Wednesday, July 14

The At-Home Parfumerie - How to mix like a semi-pro.

 After procuring a shelf-rack, or so, of fragrance ingredients of your choice and specialty, it’s time to employ “interval-mixing” in to the creative and manufacturing process.

Jay Ammon’s Summer 2021 Fragrance ingredients collection.
The iPigeon.institute slight return shelf rack of perfumer’s ingredients, essential oils, and aroma molecules.


Making a simple “natural” smelling fragrance is not difficult - just purchase expensive and high-quality ingredients. But, in order to attain the scent profile of a higher-end cologne for men, for example, it requires some ingenuity in the logistics of “what’s going on | in” the fragrance. 

Jay Ammon’s latest workflow setup in fragrance-making (July 14th, 2021).
My mixing palette | my working process. I tried out what I would call “interval mixing,” which capitalizes on the notions of the deeper underlying chemistry behind the individual ingredients.

On one hand, the fragrance ought never quite completely fall out, from the bottom, itself, in to a poor-smelling thing. If you’d done this, don’t dump it - it’s largely against the law, internationally, and it’s poor morals. Instead, just save the fragmented artifact of manufacture, as a token partial that could be returned to, that might slightly fulfill some future need, even it it’s just drops of the stuff.

On my most current excursion and creation, however, I managed to deftly control the flow of creating a fragrance, with a collection number of ingredients totaling about 100, or so, give or take, without having created a poor-smelling product, which had been how many of my attempts to create a distinctly masculine-smelling fragrance product had turned out. I’d been getting some tips, through nightly searches about the facets and characteristics of ingredients, their expected percentage fill, of the entirety of a composition (fragrance or parfum base - which, in and of itself, take up perhaps 15-30% of the bottle, and the rest is water and alcohol (40-50%) and perhaps the rest of the fill is made up of quick notes, nuances, clean-ups, and touch-ups with essential oils, terpenes, crystals, musks, colors, etc.).

I wanted to do a men’s fragrance that was light-feeling, syrupy sweet, yet rich in savory background, such as that it would entice the olfactory sense’s relationship with the visceral and primal urges of hunger, upon encountering it. Easily gourmand, yet imagining a rich and eloquent debouter of enterprise and establishment to follow - picture a starving population, for example; yet many people refuse to eat, when offered food, or when found asking for charity. What could spark and inspire their neglected self-care better than a timely happenstance passersby encounter, on the street? What better disposition could there be, alongside the context being well-fed, in the American way? (or French, in nature, as I sometimes refer to). 


The secret to my creative process, in this instance, was to come up with a decent enough floral base - I chose Narcissus, in this instance, with 3-4 or so full and generous squirts from the dropper, although just 1, to begin with, in a pool of perfumer’s alcohol, in the bottle. 

Then I started to work my way around the fragrance’s underlying inspiration, which would be a light, crisp, and refreshing citrus assertion, for which I used some terpene ingredients, such as Limonene D. There was kumquat oil, as well. After this stage, I went back to tradition and rounded off the composition, as it was, with Lavandin Grosso. Then I grabbed my powders and crystals, to musky up the scent, and ground it, with concentrated force. I employed Ambroxan to ground out this first stage. 

The next phase I went in to was to add the primary natural characteristics that would shape the quality facets and natural appeal factor of the fragrance, using primarily essential oils, at this stage. I used Ginger CO2 (don’t ever get a ginger that’s not at least a CO2 extraction - my lesson learned), myrrh oil, tonka bean absolute (lots), jasmine tea perfume extract, citron oil, ylang ylang, cedarwood (atlas), and teak (just a little). Here, in this stage, I found that I wasn’t ruining the fragrance, by this point, so I decided to test out employing my crystals, which smell good, in and of themselves, but I’d read up on their common usage recommendations in a fragrance composition, and it’s typically at the 1%, or 0.1% or less. I have Exaltone, by Firmenich, and Ambrocenide, by Symrise, which I used, in this stage. 

Then, my inner animal 🦔 perhaps, started to perk up, and I thought about the ingredients, and their place in fragrance-making, which is largely based on descriptions of the properties, chemical name, and organoleptic properties of the material. I thought about ketones, which I’d read, are sometimes characterizable as metabolite products of the body. (Wikipedia). Oh, yeah. And just prior, I’d put some stuff in to the mix, like anisaldehyde and oud base, one of which had been touted as “the smell of the bathroom, toilet included” sort of thing. I figured, “well, these things have some basis in how they are created, as by-products of microbial, fungal, or plant life (even animals, in the past mostly), 

but, continuing forward, though, given that the ingredients had an appeal, on top of that I was creating this composition, as my main aspiration, and meanwhile, the fragrance base hadn’t turned bad on me, just yet, I figured that it was time for me to try and encapsulate the essence as it was, in this stage, so I added some musk ketone powder, for the sake of the fact that it (ketones) affect biological processes; I imagined that the oud base, or the dimethyl anthranilate, or pyralone (it was all of these, perhaps, in the end, to be honest; a modest amount of each of them) - these components, and the bacterial sorts of processes of interaction, reaction, or metabolism, of the energy products available, based on the richness of the ingredients, in and of themselves, much different, and more natural-smelling, since I was employing essential oils, mostly, at this stage, (some farnesol, also), and I’d formerly tried to employ these ingredients, of the [toilette] - means to an end (like, eau de toilette), and the mixture would end up getting worse and worse, the more I added to it, from here. 

Now, I didn’t actually add orange flower absolute, but I did do an ad-hoc Schiffs base, although I added the hydroxycitronellol in an equal amount to the iso butyl quinoline (pyralone), because I wanted to emphasize the citrusy character of the composition, and because the source and main composition was so rich in material, to begin with. All in all, at this phase, I threw in a small (mini) scoop spoon’s worth of musk ketone, in to the mix, because I figured that the ketone element, added in to the composition, would detract any ongoing (and eventual) free-radical occurrences from proliferating, and, in turn, I end up with a garbage composition. The musk ketones would keep the developing energetic processes distracted, and meanwhile, I have the buffer of these expensive crystals as the basis of what the mixture [could] eventually smell like, if needed; although it still hadn’t turned bad on me, which is important. 

Then I threw in some Iso E Super, after gently gyroscope-rotating the mixture around, and making sure that the crystals became well-incorporated in to the existing mix - 

Oh yeah! I forgot, at first, I started out with some very primary facet components of many to any type of fragrance composition - rose petals, jasmine sambac absolute, neroli oil, from Morocco, (at some point, in the composition; perhaps later on), and santalol, in modest amounts, each of them, yet somewhat only at the time being, of how small my beginnings were, in creating this mixture, and these ingredients, for having been expensive. (They still are expensive, for that matter, yet they’re quite essential in a fragrance composition, for how the smell’s purpose and character become modulated in to a new olfactory experience, at the command of the hand of the perfumer.

Some small vials of expensive essential oils and rich absolutes.
Having taken on this new, and progressively (intervals-bounded) methodology in manufacturing a fragrance composition, which I’d found somewhat difficult to do, for men’s sorts of fragrances, in the past, I now felt more at ease, in applying more ingredients, such as gurjun balsam, rhodinol, lauryl acetate C-12, para cresyl isobutyrate, nectaryl (to peach sweeten things up), beeswax absolute (for even more, and long-lasting sweetness), as well as two scoops of ethyl vanillin (with the small flat scoop).

Every invested gourmand would understand, as well, the fascinating combination and compelling novel effect (which I called “mooshy-moo”) that black pepper oil has upon a richly-established vanilla, as the “latest thing.” It’s a quite comforting and warming sensory experience. 

I didn’t want to leave any trails unmapped, so to speak. In intervals, I had planned to do the dump of crystals, such as Nerolin bromelia, as last-stand additions to the mix, yet I ended up tossing some in, a bit before I finished, since the perfumer’s alcohol works fast, yet I gyroscope-rotate the mixture, at this stage, to speed the musk ketone reactions up.

Then I thought, 

Hey, I have some celery ketone, as well! How about that, for the gourmand floral fragrant citrus (petitgrain got it’s own intervallic development ketone-assisted cycle in on it).

That’s about all, for now. 

Except for the onion skeet skeet - just 4 drops, (not of pure onion oil - significantly diluted, a few drops to 2 or so fl. oz.) - for the acrylates (thanks, Calvin Klein, for that tip off [context]).

Oh, yeah, there was Cetalox, as well. Benzyl Benzoate, and I topped off the composition, once I was fairly satisfied with it, with benzyl alcohol, to have a solvent base to incorporate the insoluble oils and water (also added at the end) together in to a miscible solution. I put some Yellow (Lake) and Basic Fuschia (2 drops), for color. There was trans-2 decanol, a tiny bit of humulene, and several drops of cinnamon bark oil. I put a drop of Geosmin into it, as well.






Wednesday, June 23

A mid-week's N.A. 9th Step Meeting - Making amends to others (in the age of the Internet).

 As I'm tasked with the prospect of otherwise getting off of a misdemeanor drug possession charge, for smoking a cigarette, as it began, out in Hermosa Beach, I have to somehow make time and set aside a place for a series of N.A. meetings. Here, in this meeting, I'm focusing on the 9th Step.

I'm confronted with the notion of that I had done wrong to someone, while I was on the job, and installing software, back in the day. I had a rich amount of socialization and opportunities abound, during that time, and although my offenses were just several, in general (aside from overt drug use, being late commonly, that sort of thing), there were some offenses that I had not made amends for, which are brought up for my consideration, here and there. I think that this is the last one. 

I had made a crude joke, as a stalking victim, myself, asking the guy if he usually has this much traffic going about outside his place. It was a total pokemon joke, and I was abusing privileged information. Aside from that, the emotional maturity of it mirrored my preteen years, when I had bullied a guy about his racial heritage, while I had partially similar heritage, myself. It was a completely indulgent and thoughtless thing, where I caught myself susceptible to suggestibility. Being suggestible is most commonly a route in to becoming someone, embodying a persona, if you would, whom we would not choose to, at some point. "For seeking, I find; eventually, as it goes." I've found seeking to be a finder's proposition, but a person pays the price of being a curious pigeon. 

That being said, I enjoy treating the seekers with what they search for, if they happen to be humble and present in God's good graces, such that the birds around town are, for food's sake. 

In this day and age, we have the opportunity to do proper and equitable amends unto others, through means such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, or perhaps some other means, such as a Google search. Just try it, and it'll free you, and the one you had harmed: message them, and make amends. I'd done it for all others I'd offended most surely, except for this one guy, I had done this one slight towards, for novel amusement, as a hapless schizophrenic, and I believe I was homeless, as well. 

My apologies. It was a thoughtless and mentally ill thing of me to do. I've had the problem of doing impulsively thoughtless things to others, here and there, as a childhood problem. I'm not quite sure why I felt compelled to say such a thing, when I was fraught with some sort of similar situation, on my own part. 
The iPigeon.institute logo, and some 2020-2021 Pandemic Era Masks, as artifacts of the iPigeon.institute slight home exhibition of art and cultural effects. 

 

Wednesday, June 9

The Santa Monica Morning Pigeon-Feeders - an ad hoc N.A. Meeting.

 As some people would know, I was taken in for a quick processing and cite out for drug possession in Hermosa Beach, a few months back, or so. They don’t allow smoking cigarettes in public there, and I was spotted by a police officer while I was having a smoke break, by The Strand. As a result, I had to go to court. They ordered N.A. meetings for me. 

The Santa Monica Morning Pigeons Feeding meeting is sparsely attended, but it’s a reliably good sober group that reminds us of commitments, which is part of the progress in attainment that sobriety aspires to, for the fellowship and individuals attending 12-Step meetings. 




Tuesday, June 8

The iPigeon Cryptocurrency Search Engine.

 This custom search engine, made using Google’s Programmable Search Engine, aspires to cover some of the topics pertaining to Bitcoin, Ethereum, and Cryptocurrency Mining, in greater focus and relevance than a standard Google search.

Friday, May 21

Being a 'Normie' Guy Amongst the Age of Hormonally-Enhanced Male Subsets.

 Of on Dick Big Now, 

I, personally, could maintain that I'm not quite up to, or for it, given that my underlying psychological sexual affinities draw much closer to extended foreplay and orgasm denial.

Not that I'd been having much opportunities in heterosexual dating arise, any time recently, but I'm banking on that people live longer, in general, over time; I'll improve in my life's circumstances, over time, and I'm [unbeknownst, previously] just a particular someone who's time has come to a generational halt: the ones who enforce these types of upstart cells are jackin' juice, trying to keep up with law enforcement surveillance detail, and sometimes, or for correcting physical abnormalities inherited from birth, or from youth, in their nurturing environment's circumstances. 

I'd casually experimented with Testosterone supplementation, on one occasion, in life, as a dumpster digger treasure-hunting bum, digging through a dumpster. I found a 1/3rd (or so) syringe labeled as testosterone in a dumpster, and I happened to be in the Fairfax district of Mid-City Los Angeles; nice neighborhood, so I figured, "why not?" I took it as that the testosterone was for external and topical use. When I got home, I rubbed some of the creamy substance on to my shoulders and chest, since that was the area in which I would have liked a bit of growth and improvement on. Over the next day, or so, I had developed a somewhat buzzing, electric feel, around the area, and the muscles that I'd applied the cream to had a dull ache about them, as if I'd worked out, which I hadn't, much, besides that I was out collecting recyclables. 

These days, I'm a bit bulky hefty, in my upper body, and I'm significantly muscular in my legs. I go on long walks around town, several times a week. 

Cheap trick shit, of a hooker, or « something like that », a Dick Big Now would commonly have of it. As for myself, I feel that I would be troubled significantly more so, if my penis was getting in the way of my life, in common scenarios, come to pass, as they do, all the time. For that matter, I'm circumcised. I don't have to worry about things in regards to my privates that my parents hadn't taken care of, already, and also based on what's known about health. 


"The human race is in peril because of people who use drugs religiously."

 - unknown male observer, 4:55 p.m., May 20, 2021.

At some point in time, I feel like many of my life's circumstances and problems do, in fact, arise from out of other people in life who take issue with me. The latest was just yesterday, where, the day prior to yesterday, I had serviced a client I'd met through craigslist, and he bore some resemblance to some other guy I'd known, previously. I don't really gossip about people; I try to keep it Christian, but the circumstance was that there was a debate over who was the most handsome tweaker Nazi of downtown L.A., or "something like that," whereas I'd garnered some support for myself, in the run for achievement of that end, in life, "supposedly," based on that women's remote personas were being portrayed as such. 

So, I get pwned sometimes. It's most typically portrayed to me, in my mind, as *some guy." At times, the man is shielded of his identity towards me, yet only for an ephemeral extent of time. Inevitably, the man is ousted of his veil of secrecy, and intimations of that a law enforcement officer, or some sort of surveillance agent, had been figuratively embodying the interlocutor, imitating his affect and formant through means of technology, whereas the person whom I am familiarized with had been, in turn, himself pwned by surveillance, and a drama in which he is presented with me, imminently myself, somewhere else in the world, by most means of imaging (typically). For as much as the portrayal of me is worth, of for « thoughts | imagination | beliefs » sake, the man finds the novelty of me timely, and an adjunct to ascending the ladder of sociable capital and narcissistic supply. 

Inevitably, when the ruses of transpired suggestibility become played back at me, I'm so commonly simply prepared for the relentless siege upon my freedom and autonomy, being that I am (and "we" are, for all intents and purposes) the same age as these people (I'm currently 39 years old), and I'd obviously grown up, as a child, expecting that I'd be living a family life, dating, settled down, working, more or less: standard stuff in life; I feign existential circumstance as though I'm now babysitting my school days' peers, as an adjunct mental health professional (although I'm unpaid for that task, and I hadn't gone through formal education for it; only personal pursuits in study of psychology and abnormal and antisocial personality disorders, of which subject had been of considerable aspirations, for me, in learning, given that I suffer from bipolar disorder, myself. The difference is, is that I'd had private medical insurance afforded me, through my parents, during my upbringing, and I'd been more situably appropriate for standing in on abnormal psychological stubs of egotistical and grandiose psychology traumas of my former peers, whereas I'd had a streak of wild financial and romantic successes, quite commonly, in my former early adult years. People became sick of it (guys, for the most part). These were guys that knew me as a different person. Don't people leave high school and establish their furtherance in successes in life, for moving forth in education or employment, via some route of expected progression throughout adulthood? 

It's trite, by all means, yet I sometimes emerge as the « graces-bestowed » charismatic self-aggrandizing and condescending narcissist.

Shit as it is, compared to intimacy and affections, we're only as much as handicapped could suppose of the situation, of that the belief of « sight unseen, winner take all », although, upon offering things a second thought, or a few seconds of stepping back, and establishing composure, it's apparent that remote-sensing-initiated encounters levy us handicaps, at best; we're not afforded our imminent concurrency of our physical environment, for one; forgetfulness, listlessness, and glitches in thought processes and memory are common shortfalls in such a developmental environment, where drugs are undoubtedly most commonly involved, and humility is a character trait and virtue that had perhaps not been imbued upon the unfortunate children inside of them, abused of that many of us had been, of some sort, and that it had gone without acknowledgment, or corrections, throughout and up to this point in our early middle professional semi-adult lives. 

Other people are treated differently, by these guys. The entire premise of American values, at their most fundamental, is fraught with abuses and dissidence, through these young men, as if virtue itself was disposable, and extending in to quantum mechanics and communications intelligence industry and productivity means we're somehow on our minds, whatsoever, as children that we had been, as we knew each other, whereas people still find my childhood self relevant, somehow, and I'm left with only supposing that misfortunes had befallen them, as hapless abuse victims of their early developmental and nurturing environment's had been all that they realize and care for; our fathers being faulty, for as much as they could have been afforded in life, whereas now, excuses of merit and attainment are null concomitants in life, and expectations, in intellectual actualisations and capable selves, that we could, and ought be, are falling short of ourselves, whereas the tape roll may or may not have some active attention and oversight | followup, if you will, by some distanced third party objectivity mind about the matter. 

In a more effective, impactful, and well-developed economy and society, intelligence would be expended liberally, as though we could play with the notion, while gaining in merits, for that developments, upon efforts, were the pleasurable pursuit and receipts of our blockchain ledger of harmonic tariffs expenditure that come to pass. At some point, artificial intelligence and machine learning superiority takes precedence over human-naked capable self, where quickness in perceptions to success ratios are commonly measures of intellectual merit, of just one form of merit, in intelligence quotient (IQ), and where cloud compute ephemeralities of remote sensing persona and presence, peering in, upon us, is the inevitable consequence of which we are afforded the liberal freedom of will, as it were, and given of that we are allowed our freedom of will, by our nation's constitutional foundry and formative statements. Surely, as some sort of anti-nationalist coup were to establish itself, we blurry the lines of distinction of identity, place and time, which had been regarded as self-indulgence partitioning of needs-based fulfillments pursuit, and "privacy leisure," such that I commonly end up finding myself commonly still pleasuring myself, watching pornography, whereas I'd had "good enough" relationships and attainments in life, to accept furtherance in needs fulfillment, such that I don't find, as a remote sensing abuse novelty, for men whom I'd used to know, in teenage and childhood years. 

Surveillance causes entropy.

It takes energy (heat, in essence, of some various sorts and forms). Sure, we take drugs; we "need" drugs, for that energy (our neurotransmitters and parasympathetic nervous system) are being actively monitored and interventions are brought forth, of our concurrent selves, given life. The monitoring, in and of itself, requires that energy is lost, in the process of observing and analyzing these slight and subtle broadcast and radar energetic signs, of ourselves. Many of us have personality shortcomings, of our upbringing, such that we find ourselves lacking in attaining the suitable and acceptable selves that we'd like, and remote sensing monitoring is supposed to be for the sake of improvement, not for abuses of others.

People appreciate their own sickness 

in the same manner that a smoker has affections for their own smoke-flavored phlegm, during a bout with pneumonia.

Sure, a guy might have a bigger dick than me, and I simply don't care for it. Who could blame me? I'm fine with my own submissive fantasies; I work these things out, over time, and I learn what truly pleases a woman: being self-sufficient, self-reliant, and non-problematic, whether it be in bed or not, and how much of bedtime relations ought be a focus within the scope of a long-term relationship, anyways? 

I'd shrugged guys off, recently, of a mounting psychic attack regime of on dick big, going on months, now, that it's been relentless like that. Is the threat of my conservative Christian nature aspirations in life seriously that much of a threat to men, of such a large swath of them? There are other men who are employed, for example, looking in on my topic issue remote sensing contextually, and I must say that the standard|-ly| employed demographic fares much better in resilience and self-esteem. 

Let's face it, stalker guys. We're not quite allowed the full freedom and agency support of the authorities, themselves. I don't know what's going on, of on dick big, but I'd suppose that it's something as simple as Freud's plighted child and infant stage dilemmas, whereas I don't know a whole lot about masturbation and sexuality of a time before I became cognizant and linearly-minded, of the world. That happened around age 5. One of my first memorable characteristic knowledge contexts was that I knew how to pleasure myself. I became a classical pianist, and my hands were imbued with extra focus, for example, given the extents of my knowledge base and repertoire of activities I might have, and did - engage in. Musical knowledge is one of the 8 or 9 intelligences, after all, and people otherwise appreciate musicians, and their lives and livelihoods.

It's like, they can't stand the fact that I'm me, and I receive pleasure from up and out of myself, sometimes. It's a sad thing, to be sure; if I wasn't me, and I had to be myself, as well, of some notion, but people are supposed to have something fair enough and decent about themselves, in any case. I worked hard in learning, growing up. As hard as I was capable of; yet people had been doing this "talking at me" thing since my childhood, I'm sure. All of this sort of knowledge base will inevitably become formalized in the future, and acting out in one's "private" time would surely reap additional consequences, once the statistics in communications intelligence become analyzed for cost and casualties incurred, compared to benefits of « other cells » of people who were allowed to operate differently. Keep in mind - affecting me, as a personalized favorite target has very scrum little effect on society in general, whereas common society moved forth, regardless, and despite that abused like this are playing out. Sure, it's a "easy" target to exploit - imagining that "talking at someone" is as good as "actually" speaking with someone, but you guys are mentally and emotionally unwell and immature. I say that there's some dick big and Freud's Penis Envy, or some other genitalia-sordid context underlying the thing. My penis is just standard normal, by any measure of evaluation. It's just standard, but was sexuality simply this much the issue at all times, every day, though? Women are going to learn standard and appropriately proper "stuff," sooner or later, and weirdos will be sorted out and fall short in effecting well and nurturing relationships, for courting abuses and psychosis, inevitably of that these guys smoke or shoot their drugs, whereas I offset the potential for risk and danger by limiting myself to snorting, and I honestly just don't, and can't - [quite] get that high. I don't get as high as these guys, anymore, and I feel that they are getting that high, smoking and shooting their drugs, or whatever, and sexually abusing me, as a false idol, whereas I become the representative of the sexually-abused person, in judgment over them, for the fact that sexuality had been repressed and reprimanded of me, whereas I grew up comfortably, in pleasuring myself, and these guys are trying to boycott and abuse even that, of myself. 

Saturday, May 15

Step Two: Curing and Milling the Parfumerie Products for Purity.

 I've spent some time getting to know the scents and fragrances that I've purchased, and, like previous fragrance purchases, of the bulk sort, that I've acquired, in the past, there was a hint of prematurity in the manufacturing process, as the products were delivered to me, as far as solvent smells. There was some notion of incense smoke in some of them, and others just seemed to be a bit off-character, of what I might have expected to receive, as fragrance ingredient components. 

A messy hands-on approach to home-curing and milling fresh-from-manufacture chemical fragrance ingredients.


Milling and curing the containers is an ad hoc theory of mine, somewhat based upon the notion of centrifugal agitators, that phlebotomists use, in preparing blood samples for analysis. In the past, I would carry all of my valuables and purchases with me, due to paranoia about my housemates stalking me.

Friday, May 14

I started my Parfumerie Hobby at www.perfumersworld.com [Product Review]

Being in the business of public relations, at times, keeping up appearances is of the upmost importance. It takes presence, of many shapes, ways, and forms, in order to make a lasting good first impression upon the general public. 

For me, in coming from a background of having been an introverted person, by nature (and I still am), I’ve learned, from my former uplifting relationships, from my past lives, various skills in which they’d been brought up more suitably for the sake of pleasing the crowds, and putting on a public face. I was raised of a different sort; my mother, being Cantonese Chinese, and both my parents conservative, at that: they had a disdain for superficiality and frivolity, and I was commonly reprimanded for trying to put on a colorful ruse, for the public, although my impetuous self sometimes won through, and I indulged various facets of persona marketing staked upon impressive physical features, which I felt would assist me in my business ventures, and bolster my professional identity. 

Over time, I developed various niche hobbies that I pursued for the advancement and development of my aesthetic environment, such as interior design, topiary decorations, cultural effects, and parfumerie creations (aromatherapy). Being that we live in a time of scaling-back, of luxuries, living in smaller spaces causes the aesthetics pursuer to find creative and neat-fitted manners in which we can entertain our public. Social media is one of the ways in which we can communicate our online and internet presence identities to others, and significant advancements in decentralizing and distributing the facets of cultural attainments and establishments have become vast foray for the interested, and, for the ones who are seeking to develop their aesthetic pursuits, using all available resources, the modern digital day and age, in what social media affords us; we are presented with an unprecedented set of opportunities and resource for learning what others have gained, through achievements in aesthetics and design. 

Parfumerie, and aromatherapy, in general, is one of the subtler finery attainments to pursue. Offering gifts of fragrance is one of the ancient and biblically historic rituals and gestures of praise and worship:

Psalm 141:2 NIRV- May my prayer come to You like the sweet smell of incense. When I lift up my hands in prayer, may it be like the evening sacrifice.

A well-intentioned and virtuous resource of fragrant offering, of ourselves, is one of the simplest ways in which we can impress upon others, and gain sociable merit and supply in which we can more easily and effectively strike up a conversation with others, when we are out and about - meeting our peers, out in public, for example. 

I personally carry around four different fragrances, currently: Spicebomb, by Victor & Rolf, Dior Homme, Tom Ford’s Tobacco Vanille, and Miss Dior Absolutely Blooming perfume. I like strong and spicy scents. My latest fascination is with Hermès Citron Noir, and I’m planning on buying it as soon as possible. 



I decided to have

a multi-faceted approach to my own perfumes cottage industry production - partially, and to begin, as an invested experiment, in seeking to imitate, or replicate, somewhat, my favorite fragrances, from scratch. Discovering online resources for procuring fragrance and aroma ingredients is a bit of a challenge, at first, or for the uninitiated. I happened upon (much more easily so) chemistry lab suppliers who carried the ingredients, and curiousities of organic and other sorts of chemistry supplies, of which, for me, was all part of a learning experience. As it turns out, the layperson is able to browse and view chemical suppliers’ web sites, yet upon completing the online checkout process, we (as the layperson) would encounter a barrier in the transaction, as the requirements are that the receiver of the products would have to be some sort of established, certified, and licensed laboratory. 

Www.perfumersworld.com is a great compromise to that barrier from establishing a beginner’s collection of fragrance resource materials. I was able to order sizable amounts of fragrance ingredients (they measure their product prices by gram measurements), suitable enough for me to prepare a variety of sorts of fragrances. I’m somewhat intent on just sitting on, and casually observing, via the olfactory sense, the character and nature of the ingredients, as I read up on the individual substances, and familiarize myself with their properties, as individual components of mixed fragrance compositions, which I will eventually get in to.  

Fragrances fresh from the supplier have some of the manufacturing process’ byproducts upon them, still, as the various products are manufactured via differing methods of extraction and production. I’m planning on letting the products cure, and mature, so to speak, and eventually, the solvent smells will be less prevalent, upon opening and smelling the individual bottles and containers that the ingredients came in. 

The purchasing process with perfumersworld.com was a quick breeze, and quite efficiently managed. I was able to purchase 20 ingredients for under $450, which was my allocated budget for the project. I ordered the package on Friday afternoon, and they were gone for the weekend, but they responded to me on Sunday night, in regards to the shipment. I wanted to add an ingredient, and the customers service representative answered me quickly, and I had my shipment sent out to me on the 11th. Quite quick service, it was. 




As you can see, the shipment moved very quickly, through DHL Express, and I received my shipment within a few short days, which was great on me, for how eager I was to receive the package. 




The supplies smell great (most of them), and I can’t wait to familiarize myself with the individual ingredients, and start creating some fragrance products on my own. 

Wednesday, April 28

Hot for Spring 2021: Top Cute Crypto Exchanges and Hot Crypto Pursuits of the Internet

The recent Coinbase IPO was a hotly anticipated milestone for the digital and cryptocurrency trading and investment industry, bringing the topic of alternative currency investing and trading to light, at a point in time in which we encounter a burgeoning economy and ecology; that of the cryptocurrency passion, a significant homesteading, and a global flash game, or profession; perhaps a pastime, for some. Regardless of one’s stance on the industry, and how much we become invested in it, it’s hard to ignore the topic. I found myself seeking for more, after I quelled something initial impetuous day-trading poor habits, and from there, I got my wits about me, in terms of wrapping my mind and forecasting designs, of intent and of purpose, in doing my part, in what I could muster and personally comprehend, of this emerging industry, with its time had come, for the populace. 

That being said, there is much more to the cryptocurrency industry than what Coinbase covers (although Coinbase does offer a suitable and legitimate jumping board in to the sea of information and commodity that the cryptocurrency industry offers).

Here are some of the cryptocurrency exchange and trading platform alternative establishments and developments I happened upon, in my recent research and development | productivity dive, and some notes on as to why I found them compelling to look in to, some more. 


p2pb2b.io 

P2PB2B is a hot and vast platform for crypto exchange news, infos, launching crypto commodities (ICOs and NFTs), with hundreds of crypto trading pairs offered, to what amounts to a mind-boggling and dizzying array of options, covering much ground in today’s crypto exchange platforms.


I was seeking ARRR, the pirate chain privacy-advocating platform and exchange, just off of novel affections for the commodity, and associated notions; myself being an arrr… spirited former pirated one, personally. Just to try things out. 


I found the platform to offer diverse trading options (currency pairs), and I bought myself one ARRR. I was going to sell it and reinvest, but there’s a 200 ARRR minimum withdrawal, a 20 ARRR fee, and selling the ARRR seems to be a limit trade only, and the transactions wasn’t an instant fulfillment. It looks like this trade will be a longer-term, nurtured investment.





With all the excitement that BTC and cryptocurrency investing offers, in and of itself, why not consider running a node for mining? Bitcoin, and other cryptocurrency commodities, are based upon a digital ledger of valuations, based on transactions, constituting single, or fractionated, units (tokens) of each crypto commodity. These tokens are backed, in apportioned worth, of computational worth, aggregated, and collectively “mined” for each individual commodity. Bitcoin.org offers information pertaining to the original digital cryptocurrency, as well as information on how to run a node, or “full node,” which contains the complete history of all BTC transactions and valuations, whereas the node itself serves as a decentralized reference computational verifier, for transaction fulfillment and reference verification, of valuation delegation, transfer, and apportionment. 



Sandvik Products Guide (app)

Upon investigating investment, trading, and mining web | app resources, remember that this industry is founded upon mining, itself. Take a look at materials and physical resource commodities mining industry operations, and the engineering might and mighty that powers the physical mining industry, for reference, and visuals, upon the scale of leveraged power that is inferred upon traders and investors delving their resources and aspirations in to the cryptocurrency trading platforms and investment exchanges, as well as the speculators who develop and produce cryptocurrency-based products, such as NFTs, which are valued upon backed worth, based on apportioned sections of staked worth in crypto commodities, such as ETH (Ethereum). 




Opensea

Opensea.io offers a web platform for developing NFT products, listings, sales, and tracking. Creating an NFT on this platform requires valuation establishment of products backed by ETH. Digital works of art listings are developed by the creator, and the terms of sale or auction are defined prior to listing the commodities. Currently, duplicates of digital art offerings are not allowed, so only single item agreements can be created, at this time. I’m holding out, until duplicates of works of art can be offered by creators. Opensea is touted as the most popular platform for creating NFT commodity listings and sales, at this point in time. Despite the allure of potentially reaching an established, burgeoning community of crypto commodity and digital art enthusiasts, I had to settle upon simple humility, of that my enterprise, (and pigeons and sparrows) are not a popularly fondly-held passion, in general. I’ll hold my cards, for the time being, and work on creating worth for my establishment upon other aspirations and holdings. 

HashNest app and web platform offers cloud mining earnings based on purchases of apportioned machines, with a hefty catalog of mining computers available for lease, on a subscription basis, or perhaps otherwise, with the investment and time for returns on investment basis being factors in how much the user pays, and is paid out, per machine. This platform represents a highly developed cloud mining platform, compared to simplistic web | app offerings which offer a simple notion of one-click mining and earnings basis. HashNest offers more professional and invested controls upon purchasing crypto mining resources and machines than most other mining apps.



Monday, April 19

Fwopp: Jay Ammon's Illicit Drug Usage History (stub).

So, consequentially, I signed myself in to some agreement, which I had (mostly) looked over, yet it was some sort of thing about consent; for some purpose, of that I'd shown up to the hospital, yet some notions have come arise of that genetic and racial / cultural preferential selectivity also comes in to the wake of having shown up for treatment, of that... hmm. I suppose I'll forego any more conjecture about things, and I'll leave this at that. This was supposed to be strictly stub content. 

- age 14: began marijuana use; heavy, few / several times a week; continued until age 18(-ish), then stopped completely at age 21.
- age 16, began crystal meth use, until age 18.
- age 18-21 was largely strictly marijuana use.
- age 21-25 heavy intranasal cocaine use. 1/8-1/4 oz. per week, perhaps (loosely).
age 23-25: methamphetamine use; arc downwards and off of cocaine use, age 23-24, or so.
age 25-26: 6 months or so of drug abstinence(-ish)
age 25-27: heavy crack cocaine use.
age 27-30: methamphetamine, heavy usage.
age 30-39: heavy methamphetamine usage; singular focus on crystal methamphetamine use. Age 37-39 onwards, singularly intranasal methamphetamine use.

My medical records are private; there's institutional boundaries as to why those things aren't publicly shared. Personal information isn't typically publicly shared either, but to be honest, it's got to be a dog's day, trying to piece together actionable timelines and coherence as to what people are purporting they might ought suppose, or impose, upon a blanket expanse of individuals; here, it's been referred to as "white privilege;" as in reference to the freedom and odes to of on superiority and entitlement that people are leaning upon, to support a platform founding a basis unto public policy. 



Thursday, April 15

Product Review: Trace Minerals Research Ionic Zinc.

 Ionic minerals, which I frequently tout, here, on Blogger, and on my social media accounts, are personally known, going on several years now, to be some of the most easily accessible and acutely potent detoxifying agents and physiognomically-improvements-catalyzing products available, at least here, in the United States. Some of the company’s products are sourced from other countries, such as their Zechstein Magnesium spray (which works great for acute inflammation and slight radiation overdoses). 



That being said, my encounter with Ionic Zinc, which had been purported to be correlative with hormonal corrections in the body, off-handedly, was a painful and nauseating experience, for that I’d 4x-6.5x increased the suggested dosage, without much dilution of the ionic liquid mineral concentrate. It was my own doing, obviously, but in my personal profile circumstances, of being a long-time stimulants abuser and tobacco smoker, I had been unprepared, and otherwise unaffected by other products in the Trace Minerals Research, line, of which I’d tried out a large expanse of their other offerings. I simply decided to give Zinc a chance, since I hadn’t, up to this point, and I’d filled out my sampling and regimens of their other mineral concentrates and isolated nutrient offerings to a satisfactory and successful outcome. All in all, after continuing use with the Ionic Zinc product, at a more reasonable dose, and more diluted, in water, I’ve come to encounter it as a powerful healing product for the digestive system organs, and perhaps that it had been the missing link in much of my personal and self-induced (mostly) toxicity trauma of my drug abuse history and the cohort mental health traumas, of their psychosomatic symptoms, such as tension, caused by neurosis and debilitating crises of non-self inflicted sufferings, such as schizophrenic episodes, and the isolating and socially-averse mechanisms that come with being psychologically unwell, or unusual, at a minimum; perhaps simply uncommon, or scarce, for that matter, as that I’d been left with no nearby human partner or companion who could compassionately support me, and that mechanism had been enforced through psychological cruelties, by even lesser psychiatric subjects and models “sorts” of people, or persons. 

A complex set of debacles, and not many people well-equipped to seem to care well enough for me, in my vicinity. I’d become condescending and elitist, in my attitudes, and my dealings with people. That being said, however, my problems are my problems, and my detox regimen is my self-enforcing mechanism, in place, such that I expect that I get better, over time, and that I am better, for proactively detoxifying my body. That’s the sort of supportive foundation to what amounts to perhaps “narcissism,” of which I receive a hefty well supply thereof, in favor of that means to an end, in life, however faulty, yet compelling that it is, that it might be. I recognize  that it lends itself to baser behaviors and affinities, and it obviously shows, and it’s a gross method of a support system. 

Not that looking unwell, or unattractive, is a superior solution; nay, narcissism is a complicated step in a multi-fold psychological unwellness complex, of a potentially “dark traits” sort of identity life to live down, with the paranoid schizophrenic as the end-point of the far end spectrum being the unfortunately singled out and misfortunately isolated sort, with technological establishments in place for a lesser-mindful and lesser cares society to mete out consequences of lesser circumstance and import, yet with greater volume and scale, as it were, I’d come to commonly encounter in life, since 2012; at this point, it’s 2021, and I’m 39 years old. I’m trying to rehash my young-mid adult career professional life, of various tries-at embodying, for different takes on what I could potentially become, and portray myself as, with psychology, seeming to me, to be a well-heeled and well-established form of superiority I could reasonably wield as my unexpected trick up my sleeve, of which people typically simply turn quiet, consequently, or they retreat, at regather their forces and stances against me, whereas the problem just simply never quite was me; it was psychology that was at issue, the entire time. Each unto their own, and I’m a widely well-read (for myself; reading material read, that is) individual, when it comes to psychology, and it commonly turns out that psychology ends up being my unexpected misfortune upon others, that I make out of them, for whatever they attempt to make out of me - a douchebag, even, as it were, as ionic mineral detoxification regimens are quite aught known to be. 

A complex problem for a digestive, immune support, and growth and development-touted liquid ionic mineral concentrate solution to enforce some sort of rational healing regimen, to arise from up out of it’s use, simply put, and as much as that, at all, for that matter, yet holistic and diverse strands of wellness, and attending to problem areas, of which the physiognomical would obviously be at issue, with the appetite and follow-through of expected eating and meals scheduling being largely at stake, and I’m focused on a “gainer” portrayal of myself, in intentional and measured amounts, but then again, not everything has to be so primal as such that physical attractiveness need be so subjective or juvenile, and at issue, in the needs fulfillment arena of that we all would appreciate a good and well life partner, of “some sort,” at least, and of our preference, if things could be more bright and shiny for us. Who would deny it? That’s not the purpose of my place in life, on this blog, right now, for show and for whatever else might be at issue. I just took the ionic minerals, and they have a powerful effect upon healing and detoxification; in this case, uniquely potent, of detoxifying catalyst for me, of an extent such that I’d described. 




« New April 2021 » The Best Apps to Mine Bitcoin and Ethereum on Android

Mining Bitcoin and other top-name cryptocurrencies is an emerging, yet well-established aspiration to fulfill on mobile devices. Although Apple does not allow for mining cryptocurrency on it's mobile devices, Android provides a wide selection of possibilities to mine Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other cryptocurrencies such as Bitcoin Cash on the Google Play Store, using apps on your mobile device. 

Mining on mobile is simple: on these featured apps, which I'll review shortly, the app serves as an interface to run remote cloud mining on host computers, which the app provider has established for users. These apps do, truthfully, provide cryptocurrency mining for BTC, ETH, and BCH, which can be converted to USD. 

What are the limitations? one might question, of the platform. For one, there is a withdrawal threshold of 50,000 satoshi for Bitcoin, and 5,000,000 satoshi, for ETH. I haven't checked the threshold for Bitcoin Cash, and I'm less familiar with that cryptocurrency, off hand, so I won't get in to details about that one just now. The upside to this information, which I'm providing, here, in this article, is that I've familiarized myself with the cryptocurrency mining app ecosphere, over the past couple of months, or so, and I've found the current best contenders for your usage and implementation on to your mobile device daily regimen of things you might do, in addition to checking the news, going on social media, checking the traffic and transit times, etc. 

I've located other apps, such as CryptoTab Browser, which I'd reviewed on here, previously, and these new apps that I've found, by far, are much more compelling and competitive than CryptoTab, in terms of default, or standard and basic, user settings for running the cloud mining machine. For example, CryptoTab, on a Google Pixel 4a 5G does mining at about 1,500 H/s, whereas these new apps that I've procured and curated, which I'll list, shortly, provide basic and free cloud crypto mining at 10 GH/s, which is 10,000,000,000 H/s, which is obviously a vastly superior rate - 10 billion Hashes per second. 

Each of the apps provide paid upgrade options to your cloud mining aspirations (you'll have to check on the program in order to keep mining, every so often; it's not an endless and one-shot process to establishing that the mining rig makes money for you, quite so easily). It is a simple process, though. All that's required is to check on the mining process, which runs in the Android drop-down notifications and widgets menu, from the top of the screen:


As you can see here, I'm mining both ETH and BTC. The apps that I'm using are Multimine and Bitfunds. Although they are nearly equivalent in user interface (they essentially look the same and offer nearly the same upgrade options), I'll have to distinguish that Bitfunds, my latest find, in crypto cloud mining on mobile, is measurably much faster in earning satoshi than Multimine, although either one of them is a significant improvement over CryptoTab Browser, and both of them, at that, with the free and basic user settings, straight from downloading the apps from the Google Play Store. 

Download the apps today on your Android device, and start earning money in crypto, which can be directly transferred to a crypto wallet, Coinbase, or other cryptocurrency trading and exchange app platform.

Bitfunds user interface, mining for ETH.


Update: my Bitfunds mining had a time limit stop and it sacrificed all of my earnings in ETH. Ouch! I'll give it another go and see how things turn out. 

Monday, March 29

An updating collection of noted civic etiquette failures and proper solutions.

 I commonly encounter victim profiling encounters from the lower classes, as I'm out and about town, while I tend to my daily needs and responsibilities. 

For example, the topic at hand that I feel compelled to address is an encounter that may have otherwise turned in to what would considerably be a targeting of me, as a victim for a crime - simple or more elaborate than the superficiality of that someone from the lower classes exists on the streets, same as I do, and we happen to have ended up at a common spot in public, of where I'd choose to settle down for a moment, for needs to rest, for example, yet how common ought this sort of encounter exist, considering that I'm well-traveled, on foot, through areas in which I'm familiarized with, and of that I come to expect that common enough thresholds of tolerable existence amongst us, in physical proximity considerations, becomes at issue when social slights at establishing criminality and threats to public safety and decency are observed.

How much ought a person tolerate of an obvious criminal intent observed in trying to establish an encounter, which is largely questionable, of any sort, except for begging; homeless people, here, in consideration. My most vast experience is that people out on the streets rarely strike up casual conversations and organically diverse social encounters with strangers. What do people imagine ought be wrought up and out of exhibiting a desire and a need out of a person at rest, for example? Some guy walked by me, with a sort of face that supposed he is commonly commonly mischievous, playful, lighthearted, and petty at criminal behaviors, and perhaps below the surface, simply for the fact and commonality of how, where, when, and why of people showing up in a common area come to be considered, it becomes apparent that a much heightened degree of societal subversion and malicious intent in gathering has become established, for that others begin to show up in a like such public area, whereas on other days, similar days, otherwise, in foot traffic and stopping cars, for example, would not be observed. 

He simply had the face of a sort of guy who would come up to me, to ask me to supply him with resources, yet I find that, on considering other possibilities in how vulnerable and needful of tests for example, a person walking up towards me would suggest in that he (or she) simply would like to demean or defile my place in life, out in society, and it degrerates the broader general public's capability in appreciating and patronizing locales and communities, for fear of being similarly harassed. 

As much and as little as disturbing somebody for a needful acquisition, while false pretenses of that people's simple facet of commonality in presence suggests that stalking is what's become established, and an any sorts appropriate person would not choose to abuse socially appropriate boundaries, any more than that those sorts of occurrences would be observed, for as much as walking on the streets. It's uncommon, in experiences that are seen as sustainable, which implicates unfortunate needs to discriminate against others for the visually apparent traits, for what couldn't be other than criminal intent. 

Saturday, March 27

A cute noodling | nesting materials-preparation pigeon. (Photoblog)

 As it's springtime in Downtown Los Angeles (DTLA) | South | Central Los Angeles, and neighboring urban locales, it's time for the seasonal reawakening of life, from out of many concerns and troubles over survivability of the young, given that they are featherless, save for some scant downy fuzz feathers. Many types of birds whom have not been farmed nearly as much, to a standard, as chickens, for example, have chicks that emerge from the egg, bearing feathers. Perhaps in the future, we could work towards a project goal of seeing the birds lay babies that emerge from the egg: feathered; for being more well nourished, over generations. 

Here, I spotted a cute one; this pigeon is showing off it's interests in the things laying around, of interest. 



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