Translate iPigeon.institute in to your native language 💱

Showing posts with label beliefs establishment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beliefs establishment. Show all posts

Thursday, February 9

(Abandoned, and cannot update): Analyzing and Comparing the Efficacy of Two Common Learning Methods - Immersion Versus Self-Quizzing.

 Originally published: 09/21/2021


Every now and then, I get quizzed on knowledge base, perceptual acuity , memory tasks of contexts pertaining to occurrences and developments in my life, and of “seemingly” random tidbits of learning, taxonomy, culture, or lore (otherwise), in my remote-sensing environments which happen upon me.

This sort of thing happens on a regular basis. The remote-sensing quorums are attended by various classes and types of individuals, yet commonly, the topic basis is one of a civil complaint against me, and I find myself chronically stressed out, in life, of various sorts of consequences. The pursuit of an ever more leisurely outlook and disposition, in life, is an obvious lure for me, and unfortunately, I find myself deprecating in to former and legacy modes of behaviors, such as seeking novel or imprudent sorts of entertainment online, for example, rather than using my strengths, and building upon gainful and productive aspirations in life. 

 The app I have in mind, in this instance, is a simplistic one, although I would strongly presume that the merits are founded, and sure. 

Why an app? 


Mobile development is an industry that had a significant heyday leading up to the time of the Pandemic, and by all means, it’s an industry that will see growth, to come, as various demographics see a rise and fall in their social and class status underpinnings; I’d suppose that would happen, based on much of the “conjectural” (perceptual?) confessionals and Freudian Slips that I’d been privy to, as we’re all under interrogation by the higher authority, until we become the highest authority, when it comes to a remote sensing tech and lifestyle sort of, uh, lifestyle. 

Within the gold rush timespan, leading up to the era of high-powered mobile device hardware, we saw many shining stars emerge in app development, which fulfilled many of the needed purposes to be seen through in app development in an ever-increasingly more compact, more large if need be; more graphics, higher data throughput and storage capability expectation and demand, on our devices. Activities and pursuits of merit, once confined, largely, to the classroom environment and to libraries, were suitably accommodated and made much more accessible to the layperson of an aspirational creed, who would shrug off the influence of pirating goods (and jailbreaking,, etc.), and go with the program, as far as discovering what was available and being offered through mainstream big tech app stores, offered by Google, Apple, and now Amazon (does Microsoft do an App Store for their mobile devices? I don’t know, off-hand, but I’d assume so). 

The point is,

is that many developers and programmers had staked their worth and product offerings, early on, and they’d established themselves, app-wise, as the go-to solution that people would come to discover, and support, for menial scrum pay - that many App Store offerings were given to people as, with archetypes such as the iTunes Store’s $0.99 offerings of parted-out pieces of what could, would, or had been full albums, previously; many of such apps, themselves, offering a similarly compartmentalized concept of what productivity and development, or “work,” on mobile devices could, and ought be, as it was envisioned and carried out. 

My go-to app, for learning about neural networks, all learning and literature (mostly) aside, came to be Neuronify. Was it free? Did I pay for it? I don’t quite remember, but if it cost anything, it was a couple, or several dollars, or so. It seemed to do the job, as imaginable as it might be, for a dilettante entry in to app-attainment goals, for my arrays, choices, and learning-basis inclusions on to my mobile devices, and for that matter, SSD hard drive space, on an iPad, even more so than on a mobile phone device - it goes a lot further than on a desktop environment (as well as better than phones can offer). I’ve currently (September 2021) got 569 apps, 6020 photos, 346 videos, 168 songs, on my device, which features 256 GB of SSD storage, and I’m only down to about 161 GB remaining. I do anywhere from a 4+ hour to 8-hour screen time daily average, given a week, on my iPad Pro device, particularly now that I’d lost my Google Android Pixel 4a 5G, which is part of a great series of mobile phones, for the cost, by the way. For that matter, the Google Store also features the Neuronify DIY neural networks mapping (doing) app, as well. 

The premise of a neural network is fairly basic, in essence. There aren’t all that many parameters and objects that would be featured in Neuronify, but the significant feature of having development and productivity, on mobile, playing out, at the speed of whatever measure of achievement that could be wrought out of the device and app, through the user’s input, as a moving visual image: interactive, and engaging that it is, playing out on the screen, is part of an attainment, in mobile device development, particularly on the iPad (Pro), which would have formerly only existed in richly-resourced study and research learning and development environments, and tracing even further back, in static image renders, of the calculations involved, and even further than that, in people’s imaginations. At some point, the technology falls back in time, in to philosophical codices, with the basis and need for the science of neurology being a pursuit, study, and investigation of what comprises the mind, itself, and it’s functioning, at the most critical points of investigation and discovery that could be had. What works? What doesn’t? What is the most effective cause and effect cycle and premise? Which types of decisions and behaviors are harmful, or wasteful? These sorts of questions could be proven, to as best the researcher could prove, to the scientific community, whom, in turn, would be capable of producing the same results, in a lab setting, thus validating the discovery. 

Within the app itself, as I’d mentioned earlier, there are only several parameter objects and icon type tools, or actions and feedback mechanisms, in other words, of the interface. The interface, in and of itself, is a node-based class of workflow environment.

The Neuronify app interface, on a 2020 model iPad Pro.

Here, then are the various user interface tools of the app:

Leaky excitatory neuron
Leaky excitatory neuron
Adaptive excitatory neuron
Adaptive excitatory neuron
Leaky inhibitory neuron
Leaky inhibitory neuron
Adaptive inhibitory neuron
Adaptive inhibitory neuron
Voltmeter
Voltmeter
Spike detector
Spike detector
Firing rate plot
Firing rate plot
Loudspeaker
Loudspeaker
DC current source
DC current source
AC current source
AC current source
Irregular spike generator
Irregular spike generator
Regular spike generator
Regular spike generator
Visual input
Visual input 
Touch activator
Touch activator
Note
Note

My hypotheses:

Premise 1: innovative skills arise out of need, as well as out of rote. 

Some findings and observations, upon that basis:

  • Needful skills could only possibly attend to the problem which arises. In this case, I’m choosing productivity as the title of merit. Takin time to discern and decipher, as well as determine that the problem is resolved, and move forth, is hampered by products of neural activity that could rely on lesser or greater electrical pulses, at a more accommodating timing, if the problem at hand were capably handled by a more singular and fluid, unique mind, rather than a mind of more randomness. Electrical efficiency is the requisite object of attainment.
  • My preference, for deciphering that engaged and interactive learning, for example, is the superior backdrop to a greater productivity, is that the problems are being resolved in an engaging, real-time environment. Calculations happen quicker through methods gained in using hand-eye coordination types of skill sets - gestural and procedural industriousness, of various other enterprises of life, which pertain to economics, could be translated over in to the argument for an active learning environment basis to a more capable and effective problem-solving style, compared to a “flash card” setting, of completely randomized data sets, this being the cards. 
  • The goal of this hypothesis would be to employ certain scientific control environments of my own study, ask individuals for their input, and analyze their statements and claims, as well as their preferences, and discover, within the control environment, whether or not they find similarity, or comparability, in their input received, when calculated against my personal findings. On one hand, it takes a high Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to discern valid mathematical truths about a visual environment, of an insightful nature, yet - I would assert that we, as intelligent and rational creatures, would pursue and develop upon gainful, rational, formal structures, rather than something more founded upon chance, randomness, (even within a finite series of choices), memory - which would alter the resonant section, even, of the brain, itself - a costly transformation; I would say more so, than if the knowledge were understood by an actively engaged mind, of rote discipline, and familiarity, set about in a workflow and industrious setting and environment. 
I’ll pause here, in writing, because I’ve arrived at my destination, of where I’m going, for this part of the day.

Update: 02/09/2023

Hello, I apologize for the abandoned blog article, here - ha ha… a silly way for me to appear, in front of others in the scientific community, but I had abandoned this blog article, due to ongoing challenges in my personal life, which still persist. Aside from that, the app no longer loads on my device; I believe that the app is no longer available for iPadOS, for that matter.

Saturday, June 25

Pain versus pleasure - which one is the beneficial feeling?

[somewhat a Bryn Mawr-esque styled sort of meditation, upon societal ”… umm, stuff” I guess]

At times, 

I imagine that people are trying to get a hold of me, remotely. I’ve come to associate the premise of an actuality of this sort of thing having become a viable belief, or reality, even, in the lives and minds of people. It amounts to, I would suppose, a greater actualization of some degree, or threshold - albeit, only a given measure and extent of identity or persona, I would say. On top of that, it is a limited-use basis concept to stage aspirations and beliefs upon, given the ongoing presence of human shortcomings and failures in life, of all sorts of various forms that exist - the year, at the time of this writing, being 2022 A.D. 

Imaginably, at some point in the future, human personality shortcomings and abnormalities (disorders) would be undone and conquered, as it were, much earlier on, in the core education topics and subjects which are covered in school, or prior to school-age learning. Also, imaginably, there possibly are limited demographics of people who are brought up, of this more faultless form of a human, in learning. 

It made me question a notion, this previous time that this perhaps otherwise “delusional” sort of belief, as it stands, as for myself: ought I act upon a call for help, given a premise of absolutely non-verifiable synchronicity? What if I show up and it ends up being an inappropriate hour? What if people are stalking me, out in public, or something like that? On one hand, I’ve been a faulty-enough person, to imagine, for myself, that various people or entities would have it out for me, and that these types of validated or seditious indulgences - take your pick: are potential realities of exclusion that a person would have to go through. In an ideal world, we would more verifiably capably determine, more fluidly, and insightfully, whether or not a person has entered our lives, or persists there, for that matter, for our benefit, or for the sake of consuming us, as a resource of flesh, and of a subjective design, rather than a project of labor, and trials of development, perhaps, that a human could aught be. 

In this instance, I was “somewhat” challenged, for this outreach premise to have occurred, to me, of a completely introverted and “directed energy” sort of basis about it. The person had had what might seem to have been a trivial problem, yet numerous seditions exist upon this given premise - on one hand, it’s a “most obvious” sort of request to have, for a person - forgoing blurting it out, on one hand. “We all have this need,” some people might think, yet it’s very difficult, I find, to truthfully discern, whether or not somebody would display a given “human” trait of need, or shortcoming, as it were, unless we, ourselves, are the superior intellect and visceral discernment figure, in the human dynamic concerned here. In other words, it’s not until we become a superior critical mind, on a topic, that we become the appropriate person to resolve the problem, for others. 

It’s confusing, a bit, to think deeply, and to wrap the mind, effectively, around this subject basis, since it implies that we capably accept burden, which stands against a more “simple” and pleasurable life, being lived out, however temporary that it may be, for that we help others, yet it’s somewhat unclear, on one hand, whether or not extending this help, unto a person, could potentially develop in to a symbiotic, mutually beneficial sort of engagement and interaction, whereas some people are simply lacking in morals, whereas other people are unduly burdened, and whereas they “would” help somebody, whereas other people “would” help, or offer their help, and the circumstances amount to that they offer a less desirable solution than a better-positioned, more aptly capable person could offer. 

The corollary to this topic is that we would have a difficult time discerning whether or not a service offered to a person is even necessary to a person who is in a position of a greater extent of maturity - of many, or at least several - measures of “need” that a person has, whereas we become more ethically considerate, and capable, of acknowledging, and tending to needs of ourselves, others, society, etc., for attaining a higher degree of serenity and maturity. On one hand, sometimes we’re coddled, of some form, even in to our adulthood. We’re given graces of forgiveness; sometimes people look the other way - that’s the way my mind works, in any case. 

On this day, however, the topic of “Reclamation” was the outstanding decree, and seeming spirit, of the moment. I became a paranoid schizophrenic, of this basis, of an even earlier (oh, yeah… I forgot) premise that had been established, of that it was riot preparedness day, out where I started my day, for doing my daily rounds. To be certain, it was a shaky mindset, of all sorts of battering about, that I’d taken in, to wind up eventually finding my way home, while fitting my day in to various “demands” and threats upon me, of my home life, [somewhat], that it is - stuff such as that I need to get home at a certain hour, that I’m sometimes held at fault for things that had already been discussed, that appear to be my “fault,” for having acted out, violently, whereas I’m also being treated as a sort of “false idol” of some sort, of various measures of merit and attainment - in essence, it amounts to that I develop upon aesthetics practice and material attainment. 

I understand. It’s an easily fault-worthy thing to be guilty of - materialism. On the other hand, I “could” still be an unapologetic, relentless drug addict, and be the subject of distributed humor, in circles of superior displays of having attained a greater degree of maturity on the subject. The latest joke being something, essentially, like “oh, yeah. This guy. He looked like he had a thermonuclear explosion happen in his face.” Ha. I know the guy, for that matter. 

Sometimes, that sort of guy challenges me. Should I help someone who has absolutely no cares for etiquette, on top of a viciously seditious and remorseless attitude, simply because I’m a better person? Hopelessly devoted Christian dogma would largely suppose “yes,” that I do show unconditional love, turn the other cheek, and offer graces of forgiveness, etc. On one hand, displaying charity had been shown, in Pew Research, in previous years, some study and analysis (statistics, as it were, or is), of measures of virtue, in various forms, that distinguish people of a higher social class. That was ten years ago, however - what does it matter? - that’s somewhat the sentiment on my mind, yet I don’t quite expect that people would give me a hard time, in life, about stuff that had happened 10 years ago, or further back. On one hand, I was criminally incompetent, and I did criminally incompetent things, although I did pay the price, in doing so - some of these folks would disagree, and they take it upon themselves, in remote sensing applications, to personally abuse me, and threaten various measures of personal space and security that a person would typically assume, in life, for having locked spaces, a quiet personality, and a generally modestly considerate lifestyle. Who would imagine that absolutely all people surrounding oneself is, here and there (oh, how cute, right?), so casually interested in stealing and defiling “my” (i.e. supposed, or given “person’s”) property and personal, private space? 

Perhaps I’ll update further, some time soon. I’m getting cold, and I’m outdoors, at the moment. It’s sunset.


Some hallmarks of the times: 

It is near to the time of having been Easter, and subsequently, Ash Wednesday and Good Friday had come to pass, as well. Now is the time of Lent, where people in the Catholic religion are presented with the challenge of giving up some sort of worldly attachment. In practical terms, it’s a virtuous premise. My criticism of this premise is that sciences, of various ones, had been primitive, or pre-science, so to speak - sorts of knowledge base and philosophy about them, whereas in the past several hundred years, or so, sciences had begun to demand the rigors of objective proof, of an incontrovertible nature. Another corollary issue about this premise is that drug abstinence becomes an obvious claim of a needed thing to give up, for Lent, whereas in the twelve steps and self-help paradigm, the saying is that we strive for progress, not perfection. Ostensibly, a particular group of individuals, archetypal sorts, imaginably - get rebuked, and abandoned, during this period of time, every year, for the fact that drug use, and everything that comes along with the subject - commonly would become a sacrificed habit, or practice - a worldly thing that had been disavowed. The slighted one’s revolt, in response, and a person such as myself becomes a target for stalking, and I get let loose, of various elaborate ruses of the mind, at a costly rate to the establishment, for the nature of the fact of the matter - being that I only latently, perhaps, come to understand that I’m being robbed of my conscious mind’s continuity and sensory experience, whereas life seems to happen seamlessly, as though I’m not having some sort of lapse of consciousness, similar to an epileptic event. Today, for example, my non-laced shoe strap tightener constantly became loose. Another thing that happens is that my asspad becomes loosened, from between my butt cheeks. It gives me the impression that I’d been violated, somehow. It’s an issue of concern, because it’s a noticeably “just had” occurred, sort of thing - that doesn’t happen every day, yet it definitely happens over and over, on a day like this. Perhaps for the sake of confessions being wrought out of me, for some sort of “somebody’s” pleasures? Perhaps. I would, ostensibly, be the one to confess, in honesty, and I commonly do that, since it had been requested of me. The problem is that some people are not ready for honesty, and they react against the season of self-sacrifice with antisocial behavior. 

Then, there’s the odd flows of vehicular traffic, and there’s simply more people out on the streets. On one hand, it’s all basically opposition to self-sacrifice, but how could a person identify, with certainty - the perpetrators, while there’s such diversity at stake, out here, in Los Angeles, California, USA? On one hand, the strangeness definitely happens. The side-chained narrative of paranoid beliefs is the supporting mechanism that thwarts complacency, although, to reiterate - these strange things “are” definitely happening. Technology is established, at this point, in time, sufficiently such that a person’s mind could conceivably - at a great cost, be robbed of one thing, such as time, whereas it would seem, nonetheless, that “nothing” had happened, yet some changes that are incontrovertible seem to keep happening, regardless of that such detriments to self-sufficiency and upkeep would typically otherwise be uncommon. 

I’ll update more, in a bit. It took me from sunset until 11:00 p.m. to get home, today. 

Update: 6:48 a.m., April 29th, 2022

Moving forward, to bring this all to a point, of some various sorts; I’ll try to do that, here. First of all, given how commonly my overseers, or perhaps, at times, my directed-life designers, as they might be termed - given how often some of these people have as much as sensory insight, as much as I do, or more - about my surroundings, because - let’s face it. This is high tech stuff. People could be teaming up on me, while looking at what I see with my own eyes, while knowing what I’m thinking about something. Most commonly, it’s about “losing” something, for example, amongst my mess, otherwise known as my crumbs and knickknacks. Conceivably, they have a database of when I was last in knowing possession of the object, and it’s databased somewhere, easily accessible for them. On one hand, it’s my punishment, for doing something improper, perhaps, which I do, somewhat, and I’m otherwise allowed to float by, for the day, in general. So they try to make me believe that somebody had stolen my stuff, or moved it around, or something, while I was out, while I used the restroom, or was bathing - stuff like that. They tell me that my housemates had done it, to invoke suspicion and ill-will towards them. Sometimes it works, hence I’d broken some holes in the drywall, here at the transitional living home. Yet, I hold my anger, and aggression towards others, because… hmm. Because of various things, yet, I suppose that the most prominent reason is that I’d like to not fall out of form, and do something uncharacteristic, in another part of my life, more important than the material world; crumbs and knickknacks of my room, as it were. 

Which brings things to a pertinent second point: people who practice “anything,” I’d say, or even just “do” something - are likely to “do” that thing, of some offhanded slight, perhaps a social faux pas, for example, and conceivably, it would slip out, at an undesirable moment, such as when an opportunity arises, for that it’s an uncomfortable thing, which is a realm of un-knowingness, I’d say. That being the case, when we’re uncomfortable, we don’t quite always know what to do. Hence, as for myself, I was a self-injurer, and I punch the walls, because I get that upset. Some of these people get me that upset. Over time, the message slightly comes across, I’d suppose, or I get bigger, tougher, I get better “lines,” in remote sensing, for persona development and marketing purposes, and I have to be okay with that good enough is good enough. I have to consider that other people aren’t doing so great, such as the guy who had the… yada yada yada sorts of stuff to think about. A lack of restraint is an undoing of a man or woman, alike. It makes people nervous, amidst the presence of such - a lack of restraint. It signals danger. It causes people to become uncomfortable, and frightened of showing up where that sort of thing happens. It makes people judge the superficial. 

Alright, that’s my little morning’s update, for the time being. That’s as much as I have in my mind, at the moment. 

Ooh! A big one, really quick:

These sorts of things, in needing to be surveilled, polls run, people queried, reactions and responses taken - the cumulative effect of it all is that it drives the need for Daylight Savings Time, which, on one hand, we benefit from, here in California - we somewhat bask in the indulgence of having a long, warm or hot day, from spring until fall, largely, and it’s a largely vertical expanse of land, our state of California. It’s a popular destination, yet with people so commonly rioting about, in the streets, and following people around, it gives the entire place a poor reputation, and we used to have a huge tourism industry, as a source of revenue. 

Anyhow, the Daylight Savings Time “belief” thing is one of the “beliefs” lobbed at me, to establish my paranoid persona | identity, au jour. On one hand, people seem to combat and warmonger around town, with the basis of burgeoning California’s place, in benefitting from Daylight Savings Time, but it’s unkind to other states, other nations, who get the short end of the stick, with short days, colder weather, and embattled trade provisions being made out, as a result. Take the European Union, for example, particularly in the context of the Russia | Ukraine war going on. There had seemed to be, anecdotally, for example, a bargain-rate cosmetics ingredients supplier, which I’d discovered on the net, and I came to find out that they didn’t accept payments from the United States, even though their website said that they do. It was disappointing, because I was hoping to get a good deal on some hard-to-find ingredients. 

All that being said, we’re generally not as productive as, say, farm workers, for example, who do labor, by the day - I know farm work. Several years ago, I went out to work on a farm. Now I’m a bit nostalgic for that opportunity, and on one hand, I’ve got to print some flyers up, and distribute them, and see if I can round up some work. 

People who don’t care, don’t work, I suppose. 

Okay. That’s all, for this re-update. Thanks. 

Some updated observations: Saturday, June 25th, 2022:

As I’m out trekking, in a nuclear watershed South Bay community, I encounter that I’d found a slight diversion in what would have otherwise been my standard route, out to the place I need to attend to, for a pickl app gig, and I made a turn down an earlier, more nested street than the main street, where most of the non-local traffic might likely enter through. I sat down for a moment, having spent a fairly time-consuming amount of the day in resting, in intervals, already, whereas, for being out and about, and for trekking, I encounter various pitfalls and hazards of inefficiency in performance. Here, the problems had amounted to establishing warmth (not so much, since I’d largely been on the move), maintaining hydration, which I managed well, come morning, when I woke up rather cold and apathetic towards moving around, due to subsequent inflammation - by making good use of my fleece-lined pantyhose that I got, from Amazon, by setting them, fairly fully, yet not completely all-over, which I found to feature good protection against hypothermia, while being on the move, yet also good insular warmth, from the fleece, which is both cushiony and absorbent, while the elastic synthetic outer layer provides easy wicker penetration and breathability. Now that I’m closer to my destination, I stopped to have a sandwich: peanut butter and green tea cookies, and I started to cool down, a bit, which was accompanied by a reminder of that I had stopped approaching my destination as a result of becoming electrically exhausted - the kind of exhaustion that merits that the muscles can no longer be flexed; me, as a load-bearing laborer, for trekking with bags. On one hand, the same weight can still be carried, yet, simply not so, in the case of that the various bags’ centers of mass remain the same, and I didn’t quite feel like rearranging the bags’ belongings, as it was already late at night, and also because it had been a long day (a long week, in fact, in preparing myself to pursue litigations, of a personal nature, for having been put out of my home). I was told that my better opportunities for managing the worth of covering ground, towards my destination - on foot, for the fact of that it didn’t really seem as though buses were running, and for that I may have literally been an acute targeted victim of stalking, for various or unknown reasons, since last night, or yesterday, being that there was also associated unrest in downtown Los Angeles - the more unlawful gathering sort of unrest having happened at night, whereas I left, for the South Bay, to complete my pickl gig.

Thursday, January 20

A practical, real-world corollary to my previous post, on the MKULTRA program. (Update)

In this cutting edge and (as-of-yet) still largely ill-understood context of mind control

and of relevant government and intelligence agency programs and implementations of such, thereof, my previous post seemed to have foreshadowed some requisition and atonement, for that the context of mind control, and its subjects, being myself, and some of those amongst me, having become a needed issue to have been attended to; to my appreciation, what had been a developing and complicated issue, in the context of the subject (my [group home] neighbor): Omar Andrade having, of recent weeks, become a commonplace and recurrent sleepless madman, he thence had, just yesterday, become subject to his more primitivistic, subconscious, and limbic-minded self, in presenting himself as an individual who had lost control of his inhibitions and rational awareness in life, as a relentlessly outspoken and violently hostile and aggressively-willing mind control aberration. 

It was the first thing in the morning; as for myself, not the most astute time in life to wake up and start the day; it was perhaps 9 a.m., or so. I had, in my youth, more commonly had been accustomed to waking up earlier to start my day; yet I would offer that I’m constantly subject to victimizations, of a mental health disparagement, and, as such, I simply have shortcomings about my life, to attest to, and for that matter, I, in turn, am given license and disclosure as to who displays a lack of social and emotional intelligence, in my proximity, in life, for claims (which seem common) of that such shortcomings and presentations of myself “don’t matter,” or come to be disregarded, being that these are complex issues, obviously, to discuss and intelligibly manage. It’s simply what I had been accustomed to encountering, in making my case known to what establishment and personnel are afforded to me, being that I am a mental health services and benefits recipient, in terms of government programs that were offered to me; as such, and rather, though, as these benefits, such as housing and case management, are received - at this point in time, not all of the mental health service establishments - such as housing, in particular, have sufficiently professionally-licensed and appropriate personnel providing the fulfillments of the mental health program: here, in Los Angeles County, under the LACDMH (Department of Mental Health) program known as Full Service Partnership, in which housing, case management, medication, and perhaps some therapy and psychological (or, at least, psychiatric) behavioral services are provided for individuals. In its fulfillment, as for myself, I do receive these basic services, although mental health abuses are still murky territory, in the criminal justice system, as for who, or how, or even that: mental health abuses are properly addressed - that Omar Andrade, for one, had been a developing and ongoing mind-control aberration, most ostensibly, was an issue that was seen to have been “negligible” in needs-to-be addressed [sorts of] priorities, as far as people I could, and did, reach out to, as far as seeking support in attending to this (acute) crisis, that it had come to - yesterday morning (Wednesday, January 2022), that it was.

Omar Andrade had, for weeks leading up to this acute psychiatric emergency, in which he displayed Axis-1 symptoms of psychotic disorder, consequent to substance use disorder; also having displayed a lack of interest in eating, at proper meal times (eating disorder), and of that his behavior was commonly, and increasingly unstable and hostile towards others, sometimes of an unseen nature, of which I would discern to be the mind-control program’s evidenced presence in his mind, whereas he was a difficult individual to reach, due to an Axis-II sort of behavioral disorder portrayal of himself, in (as far as my own attempts to reach him); his incapability in, or refusal to: show a common courtesy to his housemates, and a lack of empathy and intelligence about displaying any sort of rational regard to a person’s sense of dignity and perhaps superiority over himself, that may be the case, in various instances, whereas he would portray a somewhat playful courtesy to someone in an already established position of authority, such as the house manager; whereas, in this acute crisis incident, of yesterday morning, he was physically aggressive and overtly violent to “simply anyone,” including the group home’s manager - it seemed to, upon deeper psychological analysis, of what was visually ostensible, and, of a critical analysis sort of mind about discerning what the nature of the problem could be - it would be surmised, and asserted, I’d suppose of myself, of that he had simply stayed awake, for too many days and nights, on end, of an ongoing, unsustainable, irrational, and, as had developed, increasingly paranoid and hostile nature towards others - in this instance, of a completely baseless premise, in exerting his hostility towards all people he faced, in the home; this being at around 9 a.m. in the morning, and whereas he was blocking access to and from people’s rooms and accommodations of the household, such as the bathroom, with his violently hostile presentation of himself being the overtly irrational and subconsciously troubled mind, having become a criminal or psychiatric issue, for the police to have attended to. 

There was a great degree of administrative caution in approaching Omar, given that he was barricaded in the restroom when the police showed up, and initially, the house manager disregarded and downplayed my appeals to her, for assistance, the case being as that it was early (somewhat) in the morning, and that commonplace disparagements and a rueful disregard of etiquette and propriety is the characteristic and peculiar, as well as particular mode of conduct about herself (the house manager), whereas I “know better,” and expect better, but this occurrence being of somewhat irrelevant nature, given that the issue was resolved to my appreciation, and that she (the house manager) was generally irrelevant to the acute crisis occurrence that had developed, in the subject’s mind, of some sort of responsibility and irrationality that was the subject’s own willful and willing volition and capability to had established, in his own mind. Comparatively, I’m commonly misled, offered suggestions, and lobbed what would amount to a paranoid and suspicious mind, of others in my common proximity, and these experiences do, in truth, come at a challenging cost of a need to expend a great deal of critical and analytical thought, as well as that a disciplined and thorough self-examination of circumstances and accountability are required of a subject such as myself, as common as Omar Andrade could be, as far as substance use is concerned, whereas the perpetrator commonly and repeatedly displayed a lesser accountability and cares towards composure and restraint, given our needs fulfillment common space and placement in life, given that we were both occupants of the same living space. What had taken place in his mind, such that he found fault in others, to the extent that he decided, of at least his wakeful and present self, that morning, there in the hallway? I have some intimations, and summations, of what had been heard of him, leading up to this occurrence, of that he was culturally overtly proud, and needful, it would seem, of presenting himself as an outspoken individual, whereas, in other instances, he was unstable in his overall persona and present self, being “sometimes” superficially courteous, and, at other times, it would have seemed as though he had courted a happenstance, arbitrary, and chaotic - inconsiderate and semiotically cruel and condescending self, perhaps of a symbolic nature, of an evidently “simply present” will and volition of that he would decide to treat me, and, on this occasion, practically anyone present, with hostility, and so - he got arrested.

Wednesday, November 17

Nourishment, in the time of Radio-Nuclear Evolutionary Establishment.

 According to some reports I’ve heard, of the day, 

Hmm… maybe never mind. But somebody said that we don’t need to eat any more, and that simply… well. I dunno. 

Okay. The premise was that I cooked a meal from stuff I had stored in the freezer, the other day. That was days ago. Now, tonight, (earlier), I heard somebody say that they were fed from the cooking of the food, in and of itself, and that a town nearby here (nearby Los Angeles, that is), got nuked, and everyone is blind, in the area, currently. Now, I’m just about feeding the pigeons, mostly; let’s not forget. I’m a bit fairly traumatized and nerve-wracked about these people seeking some sort of imminent victory of aggression and dominance over others, as if life exists for nothing, but, say: dominance, narcissism, grandiosity, delusions, impetuousness, recalcitrance, and caprice, as some of the primary features. 

Now, I won’t say that somebody else’s home is a different place; by all means. I’m tacitly befuddled by many of the things that get passed off as viable “things” that I hear, and, to be certain, people scarcely speak to me in person, and I doubt that people would take the trouble to encounter me, in person, to tell me such wild fables and vivid lore, in a world where a person is their total and replete self; not some farcical and imaginative play-world that our 2021-version of remote sensing encounters and accountability is, where things of an unsociable nature typically get passed off as pro-adversarial abuses, of oppositional figures, being exhibited to their witting and intentional victims, and whereas these sorts of encounters seem to elicit no long-standing or consequential outcomes, in life, for no matter the magnitudes of depravity and social authority in our civilian culture. 

Is this a game of condescending authority upon us, by our higher power, who manages these remote sensing encounters? I’m so largely wrought up of remote sensing topics and hearsay; I’m quite obviously made strange, so to speak. A person of my age and aptitude, and good-willing Christian nature, ought not be made to be so trivial and trifling a subject. I find that the prominent issue at task, here, which is being disavowed, of primary value and worth - is that higher talents and some of the facets of the various intelligences, of our minds, are being ignored, or overlooked, and certain individuals, myself, as for my personal cares, as for the moment, could do better, much more so, and profitably, if our higher capabilities and talents were being extolled, or at least, not burdened by the belittling of our personage and intrinsic worth, through such defilements and debasement. 

By no means - society has not shifted in to a new defining evolutionary paradigm, and change happens slowly. This is a nation of many, many individuals, and lands, frontiers, and of various geographies and climate subtypes. I feel that some people are forgetting the elementary teachings, of our youth, in public school environments, that we had, of the understanding of, and teachings, thereof, about the diversity, as well as the unity, and defining, formative traits that we uphold, in America, where we celebrate freedom: these entrapping aggressive captors, of the free individual, stand boldly against the grain, in our America, and these people must be held accountable, somehow. I am not the man to conquer all needs, as being fulfilled, or virtuous, for that matter, by any means, and I can only do so much. People would typically understand me as that I commonly feed the pigeons, in the civic center area of town, for example. It is a task that takes much longer, perhaps, than expected, and it does come out of my own personal budget, which is currently quite a menial take, in terms of benefits I receive, from the welfare establishment of the state and local government, as well as funneled down from the federal government, in the larger picture. 

I won’t validate all things that I hear, to hold forth, in the minds, and across the eyes of my literate readership; some things, … well, my take is, is that something of curious notoriety, happenstance, which occurs, that we may come across, if it be a viable social more to have come to comprehend, as an enduring trait, in life, ought be considered, tucked away, and wait for a similar defining occurrence that would happen again, and again, in life, until it could be commonly observed, discerned, and relatable, amongst peers of intelligence and experience. My perspectives upon life are significantly in detriment, for that I am so commonly lied to, going on, so many years, with so much of my experience in remote sensing. 



Thursday, February 11

The winter 2021 state of the Full Service Partnership program, headed by Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health


 Few people experience schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms such as I do, personally, at this point in time. It’s February of 2021, and it’s been a fairly consistent predicament and a detriment to my better self and well-being since the onset happened, back in 2012. I covered much of that early-onset era of schizophrenia on Twitter, for a few years, or so (what don’t I cover on Twitter?)

The essentials of what I’d come to understand about schizophrenia are these things - that there are three distinct and currently recognized typical onset time spectrums within susceptible individuals’ lives: early onset (teenage years, most commonly), young adulthood (age 30 and beyond), and mid-life crisis (seniority years, and retirement). The debilitating traits of schizophrenia are obvious - in a clinical sense, (the book is in the Patton State Hospital Library, and I read it - it was a doctorate thesis on Narcissism, which posed paranoid schizophrenia as the final stage in the spectrum of narcissism, beginning with (well, I forget the first stage), but it continues forth, noting grandiosity, a trait of bipolar spectrum disorder, as the second stage, borderline personality traits of disruptive and dysfunctional relationship management skills and symptoms as the mid-point marker of the narcissistic personality, with narcissism being the trait carried through, further in the spectrum, and once full isolation and intrigue had become trait and characteristic alike, of the study and inquiry upon such an individual, it would be known as paranoid schizophrenia. 

To disavow the reality of that schizophrenia is a manifestation of what is quite commonly conceivably known, and attainable, as knowledge merit, in delineating the former (or, uninitiated) lacking knowledge and foresight that would appropriately equip the potential sufferer’s repertoire in some sort of skill set or foundational knowledge of how to cope, give, the seemingly inevitable circumstances - it is technology’s doing and carrying through of the task of “delivering” untimely messages of lesser psychologies, of that there are several handfuls, perhaps, in that they had been forewarned, or that they become mystified, by the powers invoked within the context of hyper-spectral remote sensing and surveillance apparatus, such that we are invariably living out our nation’s religious dictum of a higher power, with religious establishment such as Scientology managing these newer ethical and social deeds, with greater relevance upon some of the higher forms of understanding and knowledge basis that we stand to be held accountable for, in this modern day and age. 

In essence, it’s a vastly “knowable” state of existence, of which rational thought and logic could be applied to the implementation, development, and control of the mind-state invoked within hyper spectral remote sensing dramas. Denying such would be as trite a claim as dismissing that which had simply “just happened,” during the course of an argument, in which an empowered individual chooses dominance, over prescience, and continuity, in the context of problem resolution, which is a common and necessary family and social skills behavioral apparatus. It’s largely expected of people of that they are not seeking to cause problems, yet all too often, such claims as these, simple as they are, and at that, dismissing the oblique portrayals of persona that become unmistakable perpetrators of witting persecution and human trafficking, with intelligence and talent largely cast aside, for the sake of enlivening notions of the inquisition, played out in its various mannerisms in which it might, for those involved, and on behalf of those seeking to relieve themselves from their own internal struggles. 

It’s a challenge, yet I’m put at task to empathize much with the spirit of opposition; I’ve been cornered and singled out, so commonly and chronically so, such that my own opinion and disposition about the subject is somewhat obscure and fringe territory of people’s common usage conversational basis, and it’s a weighty task at that. Even I would admit, at times, that I’m taken by suggestion, and I’m somewhat not quite even myself, at certain points in proceedings. Yet, for that matter, I feel that some of the caseworkers are burdening a client of the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, such as myself, with the consequences of affirmative action hiring; I’m only somewhat recently “okay,” with my various imaginative persona and web | app development enterprises and content publishing pursuits as having placed me well enough within the demographic of that I could receive unemployment and pandemic disaster award money, alongside my unemployment insurance claim, with my business ventures being the basis for self-employment. Thankfully, that much had been rigorously covered, in the past year, or so, assisting the gig job and self-employed economy.

That being said, I don’t feel like I need to say much more, yet perhaps I’ll update this, with some allegorical additions to the contexts laid out here, if things happen to believably develop along those lines tonight, or to continue further. 


Monday, May 14

Extended-beyond common wherewithal of commonly held beliefs-given-autonomy

An obscure underpinning of the somehow sure-as towards yet as-of looked-up-as-GTD check done ✅ task management wherewithal, given the valid moment of curiosity check via Google search lookup - beyond being sure, as for myself, that I should trust the sure-as-had-been established through obscure means of commit-stated belief, in and of my own discernment, for whatever as-of-yet unknown significance of such surety; 

« On some night » of weeks leading up to this date, I made it a point to simply look up my self-held belief that I live in zip code 90033, as opposed to the mailing address assertion, (somewhat paranoia battery challenge diagnostic trifle) of where, how and why 90033 would be a more significantly established belief, rather than the written and viable commonly-held belief that the mailing address zip code is the more suitably unquestionable; for all to consider; things, as such as had been brought up to answer for, as towards a need to discern: why I would choose the obscure etiology zip code as held established belief « 90033 » versus the mailing address zip code.

The search led to a various curiosities pursuit and discovery of international standards numerical coding as cardinal concomitant recursive-self recombinant internationally held institutional standards as constituently special, as towards the place-time-means-purpose as-reduction-of-needs-to-explain beyond common logic decryption and all valid psychological fortitude of individualistic means to consider; apparently 💁🏻‍♂️. 

Apparently this was the hidden universe of such things as unique per item bar codes that are particular to the unique identifier and operational expected delivery of autonomous international standards and measures. A fair parable of the forensic profiling mock-up trifle nomenclature aficionado water-cooler morning débriefing beyond coffee organizational fanboy imagination talk-up routine, of people who show up to work as an anything valid demographic, as the recent vast assertions crowd would assert themselves. Serious fluff was trite, to consider: as valid meaty burger to a fuckboy tech-xecutive c-suite stated-as Los Angeles native standard aficionado stereotypical lifestyle fuckboytas-tastic straight faced suitably professional-assertive prior-to-DSM-IV as carbon-dated prescription « supposedly validly; as unspeakable unthought-of stuff to discuss, for concomitant demographic constituents - apparently; particularly on account of drug abuse, of all things - given a dishonest and at minimum: disingenuous disposition « how could you » slight seething resort to constituent « unheard of trifles, unimaginable by identities-as demographically slight as to consider as such » real fluff, serious fluff; but not unslight trifling unsuch strange forays into heretofore discourse, of any as such I’d been accustomed to, for all the valid ways in and of around it; the French did the Canadien Quebec territory a valid abute reputation, what could possibly be worse or better than that take on life? -from a Los Angeles native concessions fanboy cla cla cla Classic LA fanboy stereotypes to live down aficionado personas trifle constituent mock-up coffee-table leisure discourse of post-mornings, past days-on-end, novel calendar mockups talkup job fuck stances all new, bold as the Yukon, and all in between, says a Los Angeles fuckboy t’as tastic cla cla cla cla Classic fresh one, guy or girl, « perhaps ». Valid for blog publication garbage minds endless fuckjob find-had-you joyful aficionados establishment of an assertive American finery, this being the furthest coast of the textbook next-frontiersmen: now, what have you left to conquer?  Coffee shop writer identity text-stated broadcast of a fresh roast bold offering of some considerable horse-racing aficionado husbandry breed? They say, « we tell every coffee shop bum power-squat athleisure jaunted beyond coffee walk up that every bum from all over has the same story abute themselves, at some point in life, but that’s obv. unlikely an emphatically concessions-receivables dépt. email-to: « now, considerably: some Top Level Domains further aficionado developer enterprise discourse, for a real shitty burger meat-made ordeal, now coffee-shops as leisure status identity fuckjobs proliferate identity-valid destinations; that’s supposedly via Seattle’s take on stuff. The LA valid native fuckboy tastastic identity, though, is a serious national had-to support group demographic, untrifling slight aficionados establishment on steam tap like a valid cultured aesthetic food alternative, for even as-yet liquids-consumption considerably beverage and food establishment show-up: its the Norman Rockwell valid-stance standing long-lasting fuck fuckbiytastastic cla cla cla cla Classic: olde English 800 malt liquor discourse: from an outsider’s imagination, perhaps, ... ‘whatever.’ This one’s for coffee-shop writer valid mock-up how-bout-you « bute », as French Canadian Quebec locality trifle seething romantic trifle personality concession, for dating potential, « perhaps ». 

The jibs fidgeting concession to personality sleights shows that the offhanded mock-up jibs, considerably trite personality concession sleight screen-recording, after aesthetics scrum check, second glance; could it be... ?

🧐🤳🏼

Photo-worthy scrum codification aesthetics jibs of personality « maintain » status composure - for a concessions-identity lived-down supposedly lifetime attainment status: beyond jaunted bum demographic; give or take grammatical dash hyphen astute etsy precision, but wait, they say every bum does it this finery? Obviously needs to distinction status male contest destination of valid pursuit. 

But a pigeons-finery-feeding establishment institute-task-GTD check status check waffles establishment? That surely beats out any waffles and poultry establishment slight recent mass shooting something missed-it news fakery fluff job of dendrites-post-serious fluff maidenhead arc-narrative-director’s seat: fuckboy tastastic: cla cla cla cla Classic: looks; you, bams. Valid iconic fluff job pursuits, all everyone did that but this one, the next one. That sort of Los Angeles all-France-to-consider: et cie finery by serious fluff as-yet; unexpected: all variants fuckboy-tastastic, common trifle. 

But holding the validly prepped iPigeon iPad:


A pretty serious jaunted aficionado self-sustainable civic-by-graces obstinate blessed identity: the as-stated publicly available bum depravities-standard-asserted validity to jaunt trifling aesthetic scrum fletch aficionado gutter check search deep foray into checking outdoors corners for precious discarded things: such a trifling Freudian identity fulfillment, how cirque du soleil: iPigeons on Broadway « abute town » - maybe... that was the third knocker concomitant stand-off trifling French, at last, finally - third round such trifling jaunted breadcrumbs breadcrumbs wings wings beak beak beak animal-trained visualizations-ostensible meat eaters, early morning appetite shown-up type: to feed the pigeons, again, finally. That’s serious fluff, non-valid grammatical disputes-to discover, undoubtedly. This one comes with a jibs-fidgeting data-coding scrum-fletch aficionado vast gamma-radians manifold UI obstinate iOS system-wide standards attainment- with accessibility standards athleisure constraints, on tryna act actually had have to discuss as originally olde 800 English 1066 malt liquor, but this one: validly allergic to alcohol. What could only be done? Only post-childhood traumatic émergent identity Freud psychologies I’d be placed best to validly suit me; it’s all sorts of awkward identities to fluff pigeons abute, like a Frenchman, imaginably; suiting up for a millennial ancillary imaginable outpost of establishing sister-city post-location azimuth wherewithal, and notably: Los Angeles at Temple, an ordinance 00-100 cross perpendicular X-Y meeting place of the civic center, as I’d taken a fancy as towards in my Instagram profile @jay.ammon, as one of my first ventures into social media marketing web audience establishment, as a post-incarceration new-hopeful inductee, back into the free-society lifestyle, committed as a dedicated Christian man and a creative professional job path outlook that I had taken on; it’s obviously a tragic loss of celebration mood, to consider that all of that valid intention, for a stated criminal profile type, and mental health demographic, to be in my position, short-handed, and some people: stopped caring about drug-abstinent minds to portray of themselves, of anything else, for definite out of boundaries psychologie

Latest post.

The iPigeon.institute Sticker Time art, illustrative, and photography miniatures collection, with annotations.

Welcome to the iPigeon.institute online slight exhibition and annotations for the Sticker Time sticker collection. The Sticker Time art mini...

iPigeon.institute’s most popular recent blog articles and posts