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Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 21

Checking in: What’s happening, and what’s there to look forward to, at iPigeon.institute.

 I’d been a bit absent, lately, 

in recent months. This has been due to personal difficulties, on account of various things:
  • Back and neck pain
  • Budgeting challenges
  • Poor weather
  • Perceived, or actual threats, to my personal security
  • Persona developments
  • Remote sensing acquisitions of my time
The truth is, I’d become a bit apathetic, and worry-worn, due to constant challenges and negativity surrounding me, essentially drawing a dark cloud over previous years, in which I’d had eccentric bursts of creativity and prolific resource of novelty and humor. These days, I find it difficult to drum up the same personal rapport and morale, being that the situations suppose, even more than I’d experienced, previously, since I began suffering from bouts of hearing persecutors voices, and from then until now - largely, now, have a distinctive dark taint of familiarity, amongst the characters whom present themselves to me, as harassers, which envelops my subconscious mood and fears of ever establishing yet another dysfunctional relationship, that I bring myself in to.

To be sure, it’s mostly guys that do this to me. With women, I’m much more optimistic, of that they could be “fixed,” perhaps, if necessary, or set aright, in some manner, if it came to that - it’s just sort of a feeling, more than that anything’s materialized; encounters with females are scarce, and not much of anything, although I have been feeling sparks of inspiration, in romance, in recent days and weeks, I’d suppose, and I guess that I’ve been working myself up to dipping my toes in the water, once again, so to speak. It’s a raw deal, that I run, being that I’m fraught with such a defensive and secluded personality framework spectrum of “possible” me’s, which I could make available, and secure some kind of workable sociability profile, for a lady, being that I’m picky, I’ve got formative standards and boundaries set for myself - I don’t tolerate much of any kind of conflict, or distaste, or aversion, to something that’s “not right,” or worse, in a relationship setting, being that I’m a very high 99th percentile degree of honest, and forthcoming, in life, I “don’t smoke (any drugs),” I’m very much present, in the moment, when it comes to opportunities to judge people, and on top of that, my neurotic spectrum of tendencies is still of that I’m generally shy, not much really capable of coming up with a right way to casually wedge my way in to some young lady’s life, and circumstances, and, furthermore, I’m somewhat expected to not even try to date, while on the job, for various reasons and rationale:
  • I’m a bum
  • My clothes are oftentimes messy
  • Sometimes I sweat a lot
  • I have a bunch of baggage - literal, bum and pigeon-feeding bum sorts of carry-along baggage
  • My nose leaks and drips, endlessly
  • I feel like crap, as far as limber qualities - I carry a lot of bags, as I’d mentioned
  • A lot of people (women) could run circles around me, in socialization standards
  • I’m there for the pigeons, and I can’t afford to look like a creep
  • It’s a better trade-off, to be silent, keep to myself, and persist, in feeding pigeons
  • I run a strictly fairly conservative Christian Protestant profile, of not much talk, or socializing
  • I just keep to myself
  • I have to protect my iPad Pro
  • Sometimes, I feel like people are following me
  • I have people making appearances in my mind, all the time
  • I feel like some people definitely don’t like me, categorically, and sometimes, they show up, in town
  • I feel like it would look funny, or scandalous, if I somehow materialized some kind of idealized female counterpart, at my side
  • People put my personal private time at issue, and they criticize ostensible things that I do (or not)
  • I have to do a sit-in job, while out and about, of performing licensed talk and behavioral therapist, marriage and family therapist, some sort of amalgamated public and mental health capacity type of fill-in, sort of work profile, lumped in
  • Maybe these are just the “toilet can years” of this pigeon-feeding gig’s enterprise

Sunday, September 25

What it feels like to suffer from agitated Lyme Disease.

Many a boneheaded parasitic critter-enthusiast has pondered the horizons ‘pon blood-drinking | blood-letting of a prized, unwitting victim - 

How does the victim feel? 
What if I abuse the parasites, then set them on him? 
etc. etc. - various other things, portending fantasies upon bloodletting - a psychological un-wellness, that we’d call it, these days, yet many a man (isn’t it usually a man? Or some problem subsequent to abuse that man hath wrought upon a person, and then…?), …

Well, okay. Not many a man, let’s not accommodate grandiosity, here. It’s a slight fetish, of a nominal crowd of people. Most people have never even come across ticks or bedbugs, and I did my best to fertilize the slight areas in town, in which they show up, seasonally, and now what? They’ve shown up in my room, and I’ve got a first-hand account of the trauma associated with this sort of affliction - Lyme Disease, as it were - in this instance, a fairly weak strain, yet potent enough, in how it affects me - to detail the nuances and tribulations it wreaks upon a victim, given that a young lady had recently died, in the news, following a Lyme Disease bout onset. 

First of all, 

It significantly upsets expectations. Not only is sleep disturbed, with the affliction, with external itching being the prominent feature of the bugs’ (or arachnids’, rather) bites - timespan expectations for healing of standard, daily athletic wear and tear on the body feels inexplicably hapless, and we feel useless - the sufferers of a bout of Lyme Disease, that it “may” be - it’s worse, without humic and fulvic ionic mineral supplementation. But still - even itching, in and of itself, is cruelty enough - there’s some phases of sleep that really just bum a person out, to be woken up out of. 

Granted - with experience, one learns the (supposedly) simple cure for the external suffering - a pumice stone, or lava rock - to abrade and scrape the irritated spot. But even then, repeated abuses hurt - it’s an abuse of a person’s morale, their well-being, their trust of individuals - especially once they come to understand that it wasn’t simple filth, and dirtiness - that caused the onset of bedbugs or ticks having appeared, in to one’s life - it was a secret malingerer, someone who just can’t stand something about the targeted victim, and the parasites are a viable mechanism for communicating and transmitting, reliably, and effectively - some form of the desired slight tortures that these critters inflict upon an individual. 

Personally, 

I’ve experienced, this time around, a significant depression, over the matter. I’ve found that, being bit in some places, ostensibly, the venom gets directed, unfettered, in to the bloodstream, and the sedating, irritating, and depressing features of the bites become part of the body’s whole. Now, for certain, I’ve written on Lyme Disease, previously, but it’s a subject worth an update, perennially, although, as I’ve said, I thought that I personally attended to the problem from forming, out in public. Bed bugs, which the current problem happens to be, happens to only show up in places such as seedy motels - I wasn’t quite expecting this type of thing to have shown up in my new group home setting - particularly not as an acute and chronic problem.

Anyways, be sure to check Amazon and Google for cheap humic and fulvic ionic minerals, or zeolite minerals, for external application and for relief - the stuff works. Permethrin can also be applied, and it can be had via perscription - it’s definitely an emergency room type of situation, should a parasitic affliction find you. 

Tuesday, March 22

The Psychological Criminality in Unstructured Remote Communications Intents.

Being that I was not formally brought up with any nurturing environment instructions upon, nor mention of beliefs associated with remote communications and remote electronic psychological abuses (as they commonly presented to me as), I constantly falter in life, of failing in properly accommodating circumstances tantamount to attended to a “perceived” crisis, that it were; that it commonly is, as a topic portrayed to my senses. 

In my upbringing, the sanctity of the human body was educated upon Christian morals, beliefs, and values. 


1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?

While the technology upon which remote communications and remote sensing is founded upon had existed for perhaps around 80 years, or so, at this point in time (2022 A.D.), the adoption of such technologies had been fed through various nations’ intelligence programs, and I commonly observe fervid nationalists of a foreign intelligence (non-traditional - within the context of an American upbringing of this generation, our cultural heritage, as Protestants, and as standardized in United States of America’s public school teaching). Remnants of first-generation immigrant parents’ cultural disparities and arrogance are diagnostic criteria seen in schizotypal and narcissistic behavioral and personality disorder-symptomatic individuals who (believably) present positive symptoms of schizophrenia, and of the general will, belief, and volition to perpetuate the psychological faux pas of asserting superiority, dominance, aggression, and persecution upon a targeted victim.

The laws of entropy are correlative, within this type of personality disorder, in understanding a formative and fundamental basis in establishing a behavioral conditioning methodology and engagement protocol in reprimanding the psychopath at issue, whereas, in my case, as an observer and victim alike, in remote communications disputes and targeting, I persist through the crisis and trauma, generally as a patient and perseverance individual, whereas I also, over extended periods of experiencing such a criminal sort and extent of improper attention and sociability, oftentimes find myself defaming people publicly, in hopes that the threat of social shame, in consequences, would eventually condition the perpetrator suitably, once I had come to establish a generalized belief that anti-social characteristics and personality traits could reasonably and historically have had been established - formal and commonplace methods of communications having failed in eliciting a response from the individual.

Thursday, January 20

A practical, real-world corollary to my previous post, on the MKULTRA program. (Update)

In this cutting edge and (as-of-yet) still largely ill-understood context of mind control

and of relevant government and intelligence agency programs and implementations of such, thereof, my previous post seemed to have foreshadowed some requisition and atonement, for that the context of mind control, and its subjects, being myself, and some of those amongst me, having become a needed issue to have been attended to; to my appreciation, what had been a developing and complicated issue, in the context of the subject (my [group home] neighbor): Omar Andrade having, of recent weeks, become a commonplace and recurrent sleepless madman, he thence had, just yesterday, become subject to his more primitivistic, subconscious, and limbic-minded self, in presenting himself as an individual who had lost control of his inhibitions and rational awareness in life, as a relentlessly outspoken and violently hostile and aggressively-willing mind control aberration. 

It was the first thing in the morning; as for myself, not the most astute time in life to wake up and start the day; it was perhaps 9 a.m., or so. I had, in my youth, more commonly had been accustomed to waking up earlier to start my day; yet I would offer that I’m constantly subject to victimizations, of a mental health disparagement, and, as such, I simply have shortcomings about my life, to attest to, and for that matter, I, in turn, am given license and disclosure as to who displays a lack of social and emotional intelligence, in my proximity, in life, for claims (which seem common) of that such shortcomings and presentations of myself “don’t matter,” or come to be disregarded, being that these are complex issues, obviously, to discuss and intelligibly manage. It’s simply what I had been accustomed to encountering, in making my case known to what establishment and personnel are afforded to me, being that I am a mental health services and benefits recipient, in terms of government programs that were offered to me; as such, and rather, though, as these benefits, such as housing and case management, are received - at this point in time, not all of the mental health service establishments - such as housing, in particular, have sufficiently professionally-licensed and appropriate personnel providing the fulfillments of the mental health program: here, in Los Angeles County, under the LACDMH (Department of Mental Health) program known as Full Service Partnership, in which housing, case management, medication, and perhaps some therapy and psychological (or, at least, psychiatric) behavioral services are provided for individuals. In its fulfillment, as for myself, I do receive these basic services, although mental health abuses are still murky territory, in the criminal justice system, as for who, or how, or even that: mental health abuses are properly addressed - that Omar Andrade, for one, had been a developing and ongoing mind-control aberration, most ostensibly, was an issue that was seen to have been “negligible” in needs-to-be addressed [sorts of] priorities, as far as people I could, and did, reach out to, as far as seeking support in attending to this (acute) crisis, that it had come to - yesterday morning (Wednesday, January 2022), that it was.

Omar Andrade had, for weeks leading up to this acute psychiatric emergency, in which he displayed Axis-1 symptoms of psychotic disorder, consequent to substance use disorder; also having displayed a lack of interest in eating, at proper meal times (eating disorder), and of that his behavior was commonly, and increasingly unstable and hostile towards others, sometimes of an unseen nature, of which I would discern to be the mind-control program’s evidenced presence in his mind, whereas he was a difficult individual to reach, due to an Axis-II sort of behavioral disorder portrayal of himself, in (as far as my own attempts to reach him); his incapability in, or refusal to: show a common courtesy to his housemates, and a lack of empathy and intelligence about displaying any sort of rational regard to a person’s sense of dignity and perhaps superiority over himself, that may be the case, in various instances, whereas he would portray a somewhat playful courtesy to someone in an already established position of authority, such as the house manager; whereas, in this acute crisis incident, of yesterday morning, he was physically aggressive and overtly violent to “simply anyone,” including the group home’s manager - it seemed to, upon deeper psychological analysis, of what was visually ostensible, and, of a critical analysis sort of mind about discerning what the nature of the problem could be - it would be surmised, and asserted, I’d suppose of myself, of that he had simply stayed awake, for too many days and nights, on end, of an ongoing, unsustainable, irrational, and, as had developed, increasingly paranoid and hostile nature towards others - in this instance, of a completely baseless premise, in exerting his hostility towards all people he faced, in the home; this being at around 9 a.m. in the morning, and whereas he was blocking access to and from people’s rooms and accommodations of the household, such as the bathroom, with his violently hostile presentation of himself being the overtly irrational and subconsciously troubled mind, having become a criminal or psychiatric issue, for the police to have attended to. 

There was a great degree of administrative caution in approaching Omar, given that he was barricaded in the restroom when the police showed up, and initially, the house manager disregarded and downplayed my appeals to her, for assistance, the case being as that it was early (somewhat) in the morning, and that commonplace disparagements and a rueful disregard of etiquette and propriety is the characteristic and peculiar, as well as particular mode of conduct about herself (the house manager), whereas I “know better,” and expect better, but this occurrence being of somewhat irrelevant nature, given that the issue was resolved to my appreciation, and that she (the house manager) was generally irrelevant to the acute crisis occurrence that had developed, in the subject’s mind, of some sort of responsibility and irrationality that was the subject’s own willful and willing volition and capability to had established, in his own mind. Comparatively, I’m commonly misled, offered suggestions, and lobbed what would amount to a paranoid and suspicious mind, of others in my common proximity, and these experiences do, in truth, come at a challenging cost of a need to expend a great deal of critical and analytical thought, as well as that a disciplined and thorough self-examination of circumstances and accountability are required of a subject such as myself, as common as Omar Andrade could be, as far as substance use is concerned, whereas the perpetrator commonly and repeatedly displayed a lesser accountability and cares towards composure and restraint, given our needs fulfillment common space and placement in life, given that we were both occupants of the same living space. What had taken place in his mind, such that he found fault in others, to the extent that he decided, of at least his wakeful and present self, that morning, there in the hallway? I have some intimations, and summations, of what had been heard of him, leading up to this occurrence, of that he was culturally overtly proud, and needful, it would seem, of presenting himself as an outspoken individual, whereas, in other instances, he was unstable in his overall persona and present self, being “sometimes” superficially courteous, and, at other times, it would have seemed as though he had courted a happenstance, arbitrary, and chaotic - inconsiderate and semiotically cruel and condescending self, perhaps of a symbolic nature, of an evidently “simply present” will and volition of that he would decide to treat me, and, on this occasion, practically anyone present, with hostility, and so - he got arrested.

Wednesday, November 17

Nourishment, in the time of Radio-Nuclear Evolutionary Establishment.

 According to some reports I’ve heard, of the day, 

Hmm… maybe never mind. But somebody said that we don’t need to eat any more, and that simply… well. I dunno. 

Okay. The premise was that I cooked a meal from stuff I had stored in the freezer, the other day. That was days ago. Now, tonight, (earlier), I heard somebody say that they were fed from the cooking of the food, in and of itself, and that a town nearby here (nearby Los Angeles, that is), got nuked, and everyone is blind, in the area, currently. Now, I’m just about feeding the pigeons, mostly; let’s not forget. I’m a bit fairly traumatized and nerve-wracked about these people seeking some sort of imminent victory of aggression and dominance over others, as if life exists for nothing, but, say: dominance, narcissism, grandiosity, delusions, impetuousness, recalcitrance, and caprice, as some of the primary features. 

Now, I won’t say that somebody else’s home is a different place; by all means. I’m tacitly befuddled by many of the things that get passed off as viable “things” that I hear, and, to be certain, people scarcely speak to me in person, and I doubt that people would take the trouble to encounter me, in person, to tell me such wild fables and vivid lore, in a world where a person is their total and replete self; not some farcical and imaginative play-world that our 2021-version of remote sensing encounters and accountability is, where things of an unsociable nature typically get passed off as pro-adversarial abuses, of oppositional figures, being exhibited to their witting and intentional victims, and whereas these sorts of encounters seem to elicit no long-standing or consequential outcomes, in life, for no matter the magnitudes of depravity and social authority in our civilian culture. 

Is this a game of condescending authority upon us, by our higher power, who manages these remote sensing encounters? I’m so largely wrought up of remote sensing topics and hearsay; I’m quite obviously made strange, so to speak. A person of my age and aptitude, and good-willing Christian nature, ought not be made to be so trivial and trifling a subject. I find that the prominent issue at task, here, which is being disavowed, of primary value and worth - is that higher talents and some of the facets of the various intelligences, of our minds, are being ignored, or overlooked, and certain individuals, myself, as for my personal cares, as for the moment, could do better, much more so, and profitably, if our higher capabilities and talents were being extolled, or at least, not burdened by the belittling of our personage and intrinsic worth, through such defilements and debasement. 

By no means - society has not shifted in to a new defining evolutionary paradigm, and change happens slowly. This is a nation of many, many individuals, and lands, frontiers, and of various geographies and climate subtypes. I feel that some people are forgetting the elementary teachings, of our youth, in public school environments, that we had, of the understanding of, and teachings, thereof, about the diversity, as well as the unity, and defining, formative traits that we uphold, in America, where we celebrate freedom: these entrapping aggressive captors, of the free individual, stand boldly against the grain, in our America, and these people must be held accountable, somehow. I am not the man to conquer all needs, as being fulfilled, or virtuous, for that matter, by any means, and I can only do so much. People would typically understand me as that I commonly feed the pigeons, in the civic center area of town, for example. It is a task that takes much longer, perhaps, than expected, and it does come out of my own personal budget, which is currently quite a menial take, in terms of benefits I receive, from the welfare establishment of the state and local government, as well as funneled down from the federal government, in the larger picture. 

I won’t validate all things that I hear, to hold forth, in the minds, and across the eyes of my literate readership; some things, … well, my take is, is that something of curious notoriety, happenstance, which occurs, that we may come across, if it be a viable social more to have come to comprehend, as an enduring trait, in life, ought be considered, tucked away, and wait for a similar defining occurrence that would happen again, and again, in life, until it could be commonly observed, discerned, and relatable, amongst peers of intelligence and experience. My perspectives upon life are significantly in detriment, for that I am so commonly lied to, going on, so many years, with so much of my experience in remote sensing. 



Saturday, October 30

Stub: The Impending Crisis for Mental Health Patients - Neck Cancer.

 Neck cancer is a relatively new topic for me. I hadn’t heard of it, prior to a couple or so months ago (it’s now mid-October, 2021, at the time of this writing).

Cancer of the neck? I’ve had esophageal tuberculosis (I think it was; the doctors said that it was something else, or … I dunno. They kind of just disregarded it. Anyways, I lost my voice for perhaps a few months. It turns out that there were hard gobs of mucous stuck inside of my vocal cords, and I could get them out with a Q-tip. I surmise that I had contracted the disease through a tuberculosis test which I had been administered while hospitalized for an acute psychiatric emergency, for a month, or so. They denied that the TB test would cause tuberculosis, though. Some doctor had disavowed it, later on, in history. 

Here’s some of the knowledge base on neck cancer, from cancer.gov:


My red mark-up indicator brings to light a corollary topic which pertains to mental health, and remote sensing, as well as persona marketing, counter-intelligence, mind control, and gang stalking contexts. I’ll only get in to it stub, here, for brevity’s sake, and I’ll keep it simple, such as to let the reader’s mind ponder. 

Now, as well, with the advent of the cytokine storm of COVID-19 infections, which is an inflammatory disease, we see some notion of the otherwise common person, pushed too far, perhaps in their digital life, where life seems more compelling to indulge, for some, as that the constraints of the physical become the pains in the neck, whereas some of our hormones are regulated in the thyroids, which are situated right next to our major neck arteries. 

Some quick tips, as for harm reduction:

  • Don’t smoke scuzzbwies and drywall. Just… just [fuck…] already. 
  • Smoking is for tobacco, as far as lawful behavior is concerned. Becoming casual about “smoking” of other sorts lends itself to increased risk for total recall (full body scans, and transmutability unto others, aka Scientology “gods,” or idols of some sort, out of the subject.
  • Remember the lessons of childhood. Don’t speak unless you’re spoken to. Respect your elders. Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain. 
  • I’ve got an “advanced neck cracking” instructional video up on YouTube. Check it out. It might be revolutionary for you. Sure, it looks bad, but hey, this is the neck at issue. What kind of donor could offer a suitable adjunct parcel of body form and what kind of treatment protocol could be supposed, in such a situation?
  • Just watch the video. I’m shooting for organic hits, here, and I know, it’s significantly niche, but if I do something on camera, and leave it posted, I’d hope that it at least helps some people out of their otherwise misery that they’re living through.
How does neck cancer become removed from the body? 

Neck cancer which is experienced concurrent with chronic inflammatory disease could be a condition which is simply symptomatic of the inflammation condition itself, in conjunction with pre-existing cancerous, or pre-cancerous cells in the body, attempting to release themselves from the body; a condition which could correlate with an ionic mineral cleanse and detoxification regimen, for example. I would estimate that this is the process that I am going through. 

In essence, I felt that my experience of this problem became apparent, after I had some bouts of mild “chomping” down, at the jaws, at which point I incurred a fracture of my premolar tooth, on my upper jaw. I realized that this fracture indicated that it was an opportune and resonantly consistent ulceration that had been opened up, of a seamless opening that bridged my bloodstream in to the outside world, of my mouth. I noticed that I had let out a blood clot; for example, and it was a blackened opening, similar to a cavity, yet a bit uncommon, since it was not at my gum line; rather, it was in the middle of the tooth, as though the tooth had been drilled open. I had various exigent sources of need, in detoxification: for one, I had broken my fist against the wall, a couple of months prior, and my bone marrow had an opportunity to leak out, in to my blood stream. In this case, I felt that I was regulating, and renewing, the bone marrow that had been leaking out, giving my overall bone marrow composition a new signature trait to it, whereas it was locked inside of the bones, prior to my hand break. Aside from this, I am a long-time tobacco smoker, and I have ostensible tar and plaque buildup in my bloodstream; but my broken hand’s scar tissue would probably have been one of the acutely critical things to get out of my bloodstream. At the moment, it’s popping up, in my life, as a deep vein thrombosis, at the back of my knee. I’m working it out, through vigorous exercise, mixed in with intervals of rest, and I suppose that some of it is aerated out of my system through this fractured cavity in my tooth, which will eventually be treated and sealed back up, with a renewed regimen of ionic calcium intake, which I will manage for myself, and perhaps I’ll follow up with a dentist, to have him check on it, and perhaps seal it with a filler, as had been done for me, on my molars, back in my school days. 

The large cavity fracture on my premolar is evident, here, in this image. 

Take a look at how large my teeth had grown out, and expanded, with ionic mineral calcium supplementation! Perhaps I can grow in to a larger frame, some day, with continued supplementation. 

Tuesday, August 17

I have borderline people in my head, back at home.

 People who know me, of my recent mockup self, know that I toe a contentious line about my narcissism, being that there are a couple, or so, variants of narcissism, and even at that, given "whatever," about this guy, or that, and we're all sufferers of the same ailment, to some degree; yet each of us would prefer our own brand, of things, when it comes to who's personality traits, and ideations, etc. end up being the more fruitful and attractive persona in society. 

The textbook Narcissism spectrum is a 5-step set of distinctions in depravity, or misfortune, as it were, pinioned about the topic spectre of Narcissism (to reiterate) at issue. It begins with ...

Well, I don't remember. But there's grandiosity, delusions of grandeur, borderline personality disorder, as the middle trait, then psychopathy, and lastly, paranoid schizophrenia, as the final trait that defined the narcissist, and their inevitable outcome, with the psychiatric industry. 

No? This is a poor topic, for some, or, in some regards. Yet, I constantly deal and cope with a reality of having to accommodate people who destroy any semblance of a proper relationship that had been established, whereas those moments seem to have lost importance, for the person. People had been working overtime, and at all hours, trying to offer in a therapeutic approach, to no avail. Heartbreaking attitudes, sadistic fantasies, and many various sorts of care to abuse people, from a networked and arbitrarily tangential outlook and outset, from the core identity of a single victim; finding casualties in innocent bystanders, friends, relatives, etc. 



That's all I'll say; just my input, as to acknowledge that it's still going on, on this day. 

Thursday, April 15

Product Review: Trace Minerals Research Ionic Zinc.

 Ionic minerals, which I frequently tout, here, on Blogger, and on my social media accounts, are personally known, going on several years now, to be some of the most easily accessible and acutely potent detoxifying agents and physiognomically-improvements-catalyzing products available, at least here, in the United States. Some of the company’s products are sourced from other countries, such as their Zechstein Magnesium spray (which works great for acute inflammation and slight radiation overdoses). 



That being said, my encounter with Ionic Zinc, which had been purported to be correlative with hormonal corrections in the body, off-handedly, was a painful and nauseating experience, for that I’d 4x-6.5x increased the suggested dosage, without much dilution of the ionic liquid mineral concentrate. It was my own doing, obviously, but in my personal profile circumstances, of being a long-time stimulants abuser and tobacco smoker, I had been unprepared, and otherwise unaffected by other products in the Trace Minerals Research, line, of which I’d tried out a large expanse of their other offerings. I simply decided to give Zinc a chance, since I hadn’t, up to this point, and I’d filled out my sampling and regimens of their other mineral concentrates and isolated nutrient offerings to a satisfactory and successful outcome. All in all, after continuing use with the Ionic Zinc product, at a more reasonable dose, and more diluted, in water, I’ve come to encounter it as a powerful healing product for the digestive system organs, and perhaps that it had been the missing link in much of my personal and self-induced (mostly) toxicity trauma of my drug abuse history and the cohort mental health traumas, of their psychosomatic symptoms, such as tension, caused by neurosis and debilitating crises of non-self inflicted sufferings, such as schizophrenic episodes, and the isolating and socially-averse mechanisms that come with being psychologically unwell, or unusual, at a minimum; perhaps simply uncommon, or scarce, for that matter, as that I’d been left with no nearby human partner or companion who could compassionately support me, and that mechanism had been enforced through psychological cruelties, by even lesser psychiatric subjects and models “sorts” of people, or persons. 

A complex set of debacles, and not many people well-equipped to seem to care well enough for me, in my vicinity. I’d become condescending and elitist, in my attitudes, and my dealings with people. That being said, however, my problems are my problems, and my detox regimen is my self-enforcing mechanism, in place, such that I expect that I get better, over time, and that I am better, for proactively detoxifying my body. That’s the sort of supportive foundation to what amounts to perhaps “narcissism,” of which I receive a hefty well supply thereof, in favor of that means to an end, in life, however faulty, yet compelling that it is, that it might be. I recognize  that it lends itself to baser behaviors and affinities, and it obviously shows, and it’s a gross method of a support system. 

Not that looking unwell, or unattractive, is a superior solution; nay, narcissism is a complicated step in a multi-fold psychological unwellness complex, of a potentially “dark traits” sort of identity life to live down, with the paranoid schizophrenic as the end-point of the far end spectrum being the unfortunately singled out and misfortunately isolated sort, with technological establishments in place for a lesser-mindful and lesser cares society to mete out consequences of lesser circumstance and import, yet with greater volume and scale, as it were, I’d come to commonly encounter in life, since 2012; at this point, it’s 2021, and I’m 39 years old. I’m trying to rehash my young-mid adult career professional life, of various tries-at embodying, for different takes on what I could potentially become, and portray myself as, with psychology, seeming to me, to be a well-heeled and well-established form of superiority I could reasonably wield as my unexpected trick up my sleeve, of which people typically simply turn quiet, consequently, or they retreat, at regather their forces and stances against me, whereas the problem just simply never quite was me; it was psychology that was at issue, the entire time. Each unto their own, and I’m a widely well-read (for myself; reading material read, that is) individual, when it comes to psychology, and it commonly turns out that psychology ends up being my unexpected misfortune upon others, that I make out of them, for whatever they attempt to make out of me - a douchebag, even, as it were, as ionic mineral detoxification regimens are quite aught known to be. 

A complex problem for a digestive, immune support, and growth and development-touted liquid ionic mineral concentrate solution to enforce some sort of rational healing regimen, to arise from up out of it’s use, simply put, and as much as that, at all, for that matter, yet holistic and diverse strands of wellness, and attending to problem areas, of which the physiognomical would obviously be at issue, with the appetite and follow-through of expected eating and meals scheduling being largely at stake, and I’m focused on a “gainer” portrayal of myself, in intentional and measured amounts, but then again, not everything has to be so primal as such that physical attractiveness need be so subjective or juvenile, and at issue, in the needs fulfillment arena of that we all would appreciate a good and well life partner, of “some sort,” at least, and of our preference, if things could be more bright and shiny for us. Who would deny it? That’s not the purpose of my place in life, on this blog, right now, for show and for whatever else might be at issue. I just took the ionic minerals, and they have a powerful effect upon healing and detoxification; in this case, uniquely potent, of detoxifying catalyst for me, of an extent such that I’d described. 




Monday, March 29

An updating collection of noted civic etiquette failures and proper solutions.

 I commonly encounter victim profiling encounters from the lower classes, as I'm out and about town, while I tend to my daily needs and responsibilities. 

For example, the topic at hand that I feel compelled to address is an encounter that may have otherwise turned in to what would considerably be a targeting of me, as a victim for a crime - simple or more elaborate than the superficiality of that someone from the lower classes exists on the streets, same as I do, and we happen to have ended up at a common spot in public, of where I'd choose to settle down for a moment, for needs to rest, for example, yet how common ought this sort of encounter exist, considering that I'm well-traveled, on foot, through areas in which I'm familiarized with, and of that I come to expect that common enough thresholds of tolerable existence amongst us, in physical proximity considerations, becomes at issue when social slights at establishing criminality and threats to public safety and decency are observed.

How much ought a person tolerate of an obvious criminal intent observed in trying to establish an encounter, which is largely questionable, of any sort, except for begging; homeless people, here, in consideration. My most vast experience is that people out on the streets rarely strike up casual conversations and organically diverse social encounters with strangers. What do people imagine ought be wrought up and out of exhibiting a desire and a need out of a person at rest, for example? Some guy walked by me, with a sort of face that supposed he is commonly commonly mischievous, playful, lighthearted, and petty at criminal behaviors, and perhaps below the surface, simply for the fact and commonality of how, where, when, and why of people showing up in a common area come to be considered, it becomes apparent that a much heightened degree of societal subversion and malicious intent in gathering has become established, for that others begin to show up in a like such public area, whereas on other days, similar days, otherwise, in foot traffic and stopping cars, for example, would not be observed. 

He simply had the face of a sort of guy who would come up to me, to ask me to supply him with resources, yet I find that, on considering other possibilities in how vulnerable and needful of tests for example, a person walking up towards me would suggest in that he (or she) simply would like to demean or defile my place in life, out in society, and it degrerates the broader general public's capability in appreciating and patronizing locales and communities, for fear of being similarly harassed. 

As much and as little as disturbing somebody for a needful acquisition, while false pretenses of that people's simple facet of commonality in presence suggests that stalking is what's become established, and an any sorts appropriate person would not choose to abuse socially appropriate boundaries, any more than that those sorts of occurrences would be observed, for as much as walking on the streets. It's uncommon, in experiences that are seen as sustainable, which implicates unfortunate needs to discriminate against others for the visually apparent traits, for what couldn't be other than criminal intent. 

Sunday, February 28

Product Review: HUmineral Humic/Fulvic Acid Minerals.

 HUmineral is a local (to Los Angeles) manufacturer and supplier of fine wellness products. I’d been using ionic minerals, prior to discovering humic and fulvic minerals, by HUmineral at a boutique wellness, vegan goods, and juice / shake shop in Hollywood, which had since closed down. I sourced 3 bottles of these minerals, this time around, thanks to unemployment insurance and pandemic unemployment award money that’s come in, this time around, although it appears that there are also even more affordable suppliers of the product (currently), on Google Shopping.



Thursday, February 11

The winter 2021 state of the Full Service Partnership program, headed by Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health


 Few people experience schizophrenia and bipolar symptoms such as I do, personally, at this point in time. It’s February of 2021, and it’s been a fairly consistent predicament and a detriment to my better self and well-being since the onset happened, back in 2012. I covered much of that early-onset era of schizophrenia on Twitter, for a few years, or so (what don’t I cover on Twitter?)

The essentials of what I’d come to understand about schizophrenia are these things - that there are three distinct and currently recognized typical onset time spectrums within susceptible individuals’ lives: early onset (teenage years, most commonly), young adulthood (age 30 and beyond), and mid-life crisis (seniority years, and retirement). The debilitating traits of schizophrenia are obvious - in a clinical sense, (the book is in the Patton State Hospital Library, and I read it - it was a doctorate thesis on Narcissism, which posed paranoid schizophrenia as the final stage in the spectrum of narcissism, beginning with (well, I forget the first stage), but it continues forth, noting grandiosity, a trait of bipolar spectrum disorder, as the second stage, borderline personality traits of disruptive and dysfunctional relationship management skills and symptoms as the mid-point marker of the narcissistic personality, with narcissism being the trait carried through, further in the spectrum, and once full isolation and intrigue had become trait and characteristic alike, of the study and inquiry upon such an individual, it would be known as paranoid schizophrenia. 

To disavow the reality of that schizophrenia is a manifestation of what is quite commonly conceivably known, and attainable, as knowledge merit, in delineating the former (or, uninitiated) lacking knowledge and foresight that would appropriately equip the potential sufferer’s repertoire in some sort of skill set or foundational knowledge of how to cope, give, the seemingly inevitable circumstances - it is technology’s doing and carrying through of the task of “delivering” untimely messages of lesser psychologies, of that there are several handfuls, perhaps, in that they had been forewarned, or that they become mystified, by the powers invoked within the context of hyper-spectral remote sensing and surveillance apparatus, such that we are invariably living out our nation’s religious dictum of a higher power, with religious establishment such as Scientology managing these newer ethical and social deeds, with greater relevance upon some of the higher forms of understanding and knowledge basis that we stand to be held accountable for, in this modern day and age. 

In essence, it’s a vastly “knowable” state of existence, of which rational thought and logic could be applied to the implementation, development, and control of the mind-state invoked within hyper spectral remote sensing dramas. Denying such would be as trite a claim as dismissing that which had simply “just happened,” during the course of an argument, in which an empowered individual chooses dominance, over prescience, and continuity, in the context of problem resolution, which is a common and necessary family and social skills behavioral apparatus. It’s largely expected of people of that they are not seeking to cause problems, yet all too often, such claims as these, simple as they are, and at that, dismissing the oblique portrayals of persona that become unmistakable perpetrators of witting persecution and human trafficking, with intelligence and talent largely cast aside, for the sake of enlivening notions of the inquisition, played out in its various mannerisms in which it might, for those involved, and on behalf of those seeking to relieve themselves from their own internal struggles. 

It’s a challenge, yet I’m put at task to empathize much with the spirit of opposition; I’ve been cornered and singled out, so commonly and chronically so, such that my own opinion and disposition about the subject is somewhat obscure and fringe territory of people’s common usage conversational basis, and it’s a weighty task at that. Even I would admit, at times, that I’m taken by suggestion, and I’m somewhat not quite even myself, at certain points in proceedings. Yet, for that matter, I feel that some of the caseworkers are burdening a client of the Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health, such as myself, with the consequences of affirmative action hiring; I’m only somewhat recently “okay,” with my various imaginative persona and web | app development enterprises and content publishing pursuits as having placed me well enough within the demographic of that I could receive unemployment and pandemic disaster award money, alongside my unemployment insurance claim, with my business ventures being the basis for self-employment. Thankfully, that much had been rigorously covered, in the past year, or so, assisting the gig job and self-employed economy.

That being said, I don’t feel like I need to say much more, yet perhaps I’ll update this, with some allegorical additions to the contexts laid out here, if things happen to believably develop along those lines tonight, or to continue further. 


Friday, March 13

The impact of coronavirus has left it's mark upon the casual downtown Los Angeles and surrounding areas.

What's one to do about this impending and ominous, though obscure, threat of contracting a potentially very deadly virus?

On one hand, we can embody some rational common sense about the means and scope of the impact of this vast news-story topic drop, and see it for what it truly is, to a large degree. First of all, for a pandemic to have reached so many nations, to such a degree of repute, such that the disease itself could be identified as having stricken a victim, tagged and classified as such, is somewhat murky, I'd say, within the scope of understanding that it came out of a Chinese fish market, to begin with. 

People who are unfamiliar with Chinese meat markets would ostensibly view such a foreign and unfamiliar cultural facet as strange; the Chinese, being an unattainable cultural divide to bridge, in their more traditional manifestations, of older generations who have never learned English, (and vice versa; many Americans would never learn Chinese) - this phenomenon creates a clear opportunity for the exploitation of an insider's pedigree about a looming generalization of cultural malady and over-production at the steed of what largely seems to center around what ended up being a bum Valentine's Day weekend, imaginably, for many people involved. 

Let's face it. People are destitute, and over spending on their budgets and credit accounts, to a large degree. These things happen in cyclical fashion, yet there hadn't been a clear cut demographic of identifying these individuals, as my generation had, in the iconography of the metro-sexual. On one hand, that archetype still lives on in popular culture - simply (perhaps) different people, all being wrought through the engineering of consumer psychology in to well-targeted patrons of online retail and persona-based advertisements.

The subliminal impact of the ad-bearing mechanism is a tender subject to have breached, for many consumers, in that their visual identity and assimilating personas and outward portrayals of themselves, leveraged upon "fitting in," is at stake. People long to be admired and adored, as a universal nurturing need, of our primitive limbic mind selves, which operates underneath the surface.

To be succinct, I can admit that I'd overworked myself, quite commonly, over the past several months, or so, and it had become a chronic condition. Back pain, inflammation - that sort of thing. But the exploitation of the intrigue and mystique of the unfamiliar is an obvious concession within the scope of this coronavirus news topic drop, if one were to dig just beneath the most superficial of things.

Am I that uncommon, and so far out of reach, that an objective deconstruction of personal experience, given outgoing, pro-sociable inclusion and observation should go unheeded? I feel that the things I find and imagine to be common of myself, given others, to be, historically, a fairly level-gauge playing field and perspective, since I traverse through many cultural populations, and I interact indiscriminately with individuals and intelligence personnel, with relevant imagery, on a very consistent and regular basis, which I'd offer, is a reasonable agreement that my objectivity is a fairly well-grounded one. Hopefully I communicate to the literate population with little to hinder the boundaries between written words and capable understanding.

Moving ahead, pushing forth on productivity, given our human constraints of our physical selves, and also, given that our subliminal egos are perhaps bruised, for the sake of that Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning models, being deployed and delegated, over humanly capable endeavor, is bound to be one of the humbling and intrinsic facets of that we are limited by human frailty, and everyone could use a break, at some point, and coronavirus offers that contingency a common layperson's chance at duly failing to fulfill responsibilities, whereas (to be redundant), we all needed a break from work, for how much productivity we had produced, and for what that wrought of our exertions, and exhaustion.
 
 

Tuesday, October 15

An ad hoc public social work service providership offering for establishing and verifying homelessness identity and basis for future housing placements.

It struck me, as an imposition of a potential problem (that people might have about me - here, and there; and continuing on in to the future, if I failed to address it): that some individuals whom I come across, or whom I envision in my “envisagé” mind, yet rarely speak to - might (or do) have an existential crisis about them, imposed on to me, as that I am housed in my Section 8 apartment, while they are not currently receiving services. 

I’ve addressed these, and various surrounding exigent circumstances, and calls-to-action, in an offering of an ad hoc public social work and housing / homelessness status identity verification and needs-validation endpoint communications entity, as it had not gone stated in words, on my part, any time recently; so I made a Google My Business post on it, for individuals who might come across my Google My Business listing on Google, via Google Maps, or by Search discovery.



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